Page 43 of One Timer With A Wingman

Since eating makes me feel better, I make myself a peanut butter and honey sandwich and it seems to settle me somewhat. I arrive to practice and Coach Ludmila watches me with eagle eyes.

“Feeling better, Briar?” she asks with her Russian accent.

“Yes,” I reply but I feel like a liar, probably because I’m lying. I’m not okay. I’m going to have to come clean. I just need time to process all this.

Coach sends me over to the floor. I take a deep breath and fly through my routine. Thankfully, I stick the tucks, which appeases her.

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. I try to calculate my due date. Since I am guessing I got pregnant around December 23rd, it means my due date will be September 28th. The start of my senior year. It means I can finish junior year. But how long will I be able to compete without my coaches knowing about my situation? I can compete this weekend for sure. I just need to make sure I eat well or maybe it won’t be enough to eat, and I’ll end up puking during the competition.

It’s all too much to process. I don’t understand how any of this happened.

I make an appointment to speak with a therapist at the wellness center, but they can only give me an appointment next week. I head to the rest of my classes and at night I get ready for my shift at Black Jack’s. Taylor messaged me about taking my shift, but I need all the money I can get. Neither of my parents have gotten back to me, but it can take Mom a couple of weeks to return my calls.

Black Jack’s is busy tonight. In a way it’s good because my mind is distracted. I worry Aaron might walk in tonight, and I’m not ready to see him. Not yet. After my shift, I head out to my car. It’s snowing and the weather is crummy. I scrape the snow off my windows and drive home. When I get home, I take a quick shower, slip on pj’s, and sit at the little desk in my room to google everything I need to know about pregnancy. I know I could give the baby away for adoption or get an abortion, but something inside me feels connected to this little nugget

inside me. My parents were awful parents. I don’t know if I have the means to take care of this child. What about gymnastics, the Olympics, and law school? Maybe I’ll have to give it all up to take care of this nugget. When I start yawning, I move to the bed and pass out. Things always look brighter in the morning.

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

The competition was a bust. I not only didn’t stick my landing on the back tuck, but I also screwed up my bar routine too. I spent the better part of the weekend throwing up to the point that my roommates heard me puking and asked me if I was all right. I also caught them whispering about me, which isn’t a good thing. I’m the girl who is puking in the morning and has gained weight. Both of those are clear signs of pregnancy. At least according to Google.

I’m leaving the bus at the Sports Complex. It’s where we usually get dropped off when we come back from meets. Coach Ludmila is standing at the entrance of the bus, wishing the girls a good night and congratulating the girls returning with medals. A medal I should’ve easily won.

“Briar, I would like to see you in my office first thing tomorrow morning,” Coach says. I’m grateful she doesn’t want to talk to me now because I am thoroughly drained. Coach Ludmila is tough but she also cares about her athletes. She ensures we are keeping a proper diet and getting the right amount of sleep. She cares when someone breaks up with a partner and is upset. She’s also tough. Pushing us to be our best.

“Okay,” I say to her. “Have a good night.”

“You too,” she says.

I’m walking toward my SUV in the dark parking lot when I spot the hockey team coming off their bus. I keep my head low. I’m not ready to see Aaron. Thankfully, it didn’t snow this weekend so my car is clean. I get in and head home. When I walk through the door, my housemates are in the kitchen. They don’t acknowledge me and I’m used to it. I head up to my room where I keep my own kettle and boil some water to make ramen noodles. Then I lie back on my bed and check my phone.

I have a message from Ruby asking how the meet went. I also have a voicemail from Mom.

“Hi, Briar, I got your message. I have some bad news. Otis is leaving me and the girls. I won’t be able to afford to pay your lease anymore. I’ll try to come out to campus by the end of the month to pick up the car. Be in touch.” Her voice is shaky and she sounds like she may be crying.

Fuck me. When it rains it pours.

Not only is she not going to help, she’s taking away my only form of transportation.

I hold on to my stomach.It’s going to be okay, Nugget. It has to be. I’m not like my mom or dad. I won’t abandon you.

My cell rings. It’s Annie. I don’t have it in me to answer but I answer anyway because I know she won’t stop until I do.

“Hello?”

“Briar, you’ve been more MIA than usual,” she chides.

“Sorry, just got back from a meet.”

“How did it go?” she asks.

“Not great. I had some major screwups,” I tell her.

“Okay, it’s not the end of the world,” she says.

“Why don’t you tell me how you’re doing?” I say to her.

“Fine, you know. School, family stuff, fake dating Cade Price.” She giggles.

---