Page 42 of One Timer With A Wingman

My breathing turns labored as I try to take a breath and I can’t. “I’m going to faint.”

He stands and moves closer to me. At the same time, he pages a nurse to come into the room. A nurse arrives in seconds. The doctor updates her on my situation.

“I’m going to give you two a few moments together,” he says. Then he looks to the nurse. “When she’s ready, I will need the test.”

The nurse nods and the doctor leaves.

“My name is Lila. I understand Dr. Sloane wants you to do a pregnancy test,” she says, waiting for an answer.

I nod. “I’m not pregnant. I’m on birth control.” I start to tear. “This can’t be happening.”

“Unplanned pregnancies are very scary, and we are here to support you. You aren’t the first student to come through these doors needing to do a test. Sometimes they are positive and sometimes they are negative, but it’s important you know either way. Whatever happens, know the university has many resources available to support you.”

“I’m a scholarship student. If I get kicked off the gymnastics team, I won’t be able to stay in school.” My panic rises like a pot boiling over.

“The NCAA will provide exceptions to students in your position. They allow you to take a leave from competing. You can also go to the financial aid office and apply for financial aid. The university has childcare on campus,” she goes on. “If your test is positive, there are ways of getting help. But before we get ahead of ourselves, why don’t you take this cup and pee in it? I’ll check the urine and we can take it from there.”

Lila is very sweet and supportive. She has a motherly quality of giving reassurance and support I’m not used to. What happens when I leave this office? I am once again on my own.

“Okay,” I agree. I take the cup and head to the restroom. My heart is beating too fast. Maybe because I know the doctor might be right. If I was sick, I’d have a temperature and diarrhea, maybe I would be coughing. The fact that eating a greasy slice of pizza made me feel better isn’t reassuring because, last time I checked, pizza doesn’t have medicinal ingredients.

Lila is waiting for me when I leave the restroom.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“I don’t know.” It’s the best I’ve got.

“Why don’t you head back to the room? I’ll check this and then Dr. Sloane and I will be in to give you the results.”

I nod and walk back to the exam room feeling numb.

A million thoughts rush through my mind. I try to plan for a positive result. Can I call mom and ask for help? Maybe dad? I would need to tell Aaron. How will he react? As it is he has so much on his plate with his mom being sick. The timing couldn’t be worse for him.

Lila and Dr. Sloane walk back into the room. My heart beats erratically as I try to read their stoic expressions.

“Ms. Halle, your test is positive. Nurse Lila is here to support you with any questions you may have. We will need to refer you to an obstetrician at the Riverside General Hospital. Nurse Lila said she mentioned some services the university offers. She can provide you with more information on your options now. I know this is scary, but the wellness clinic is here to support you. Is the father in the picture?” he then asks.

A bead of sweat pops on my forehead. “Not really.”

“I see. Okay, well, we should set you up with an ultrasound and Nurse Lila will take some initial information from you. I wish you the best of luck,” he says and then he glances to Nurse Lila with what looks like a look of concern.

The doctor leaves and Nurse Lila gets down to business. She suggests a multivitamin with folic acid that she wants me to start taking immediately. She gives me a list of foods I can’t eat. She sends a referral to the hospital for an ultrasound and doctor, and she gives me a flyer that has a bunch of phone numbers I will need that includes financial aid, student housing, therapists at the wellness center, and childcare on campus.

“If the hospital clinic doesn’t call within the next two days, give them a call. You should get that ultrasound done in the next week or so,” she says.

I nod. My mouth feels drier than the Sahara Desert.

By the time I leave the doctor’s office my head is spinning. It’s been hours since I had lunch and I’m nauseous again. I can’t afford to keep eating out so I head back to my house and eat ramen noodles, which settles my stomach somewhat.

I have homework I need to do but I can’t bring myself to focus. Instead, I go to take a warm shower. After, I get into flannel pajamas and curl on my bed and cry. It’s 10:00 p.m. by the time I’ve cried all the tears I have inside me.

I pick up my phone and call Mom. It goes to voicemail. “Hi, Mom.” My voice is scratchy. “I really need to talk to you. Something has come up and I need some help.” I don’t know why I’m bothering to call her, other than I feel desperate and lost. “Please call me back when you have a chance.”

I’m not sure Mom will call me back so I try a number I haven’t used in five years. It’s my dad’s phone number.

“Hi, Dad, this is Briar. Briar Halle, your daughter. Um, I need to talk to you. Can you please give me a call when you have a chance?”

I end the call and stare into space until I fall asleep. The next morning my alarm goes off at 6:00 a.m. I get up and get ready for practice. What am I going to do? I need to tell my coaches about the pregnancy. It’s not something I can hide. And when and how do I tell Aaron?

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