Page 30 of Age of Shade

“Please,please.” I hardly know what I’m saying, or if I’m saying anything at all, while gasping and moaning. All the muscles in my tummy have gone tense, and I’m strung tight, suspended over the edge but can’t quite fall. My head tilts back, the ends of my hair brushing against my lower back as I grinddown, mindless and desperate for more. Two of Asher’s fingers dip into my wetness and move back, rubbing gentle circles over myotherhole.

I fall apart, my entire body shaking as Asher licks me through it. A moment later, the world goes upside down. Somehow I’m on my back, and Asher is looming over me, chest heaving and eyes wild. The material of his boxers brushes against the sensitive skin of my inner thighs, and we both look down. His erection is straining against the thin layer of fabric separating us, only inches from my center. Slowly, he lowers his hips, sawing his ridged length through the lips of my pussy. I’m hypnotized by the sight, and my thighs part wider, instinctively offering him more.

“Such a horny little angel,” Asher mutters, sounding almost angry as he shifts his weight onto one arm. A rough hand finds my breast, cupping and teasing roughly. “Can’t believe how wet you get for me.” He lifts his hips and I whine at the loss, but the sight of the front of his boxers drenched with my arousal makes it almost worth it.

“Please fuck me, daddy.” I can’t believe those words are actually coming out of my mouth, but I’m way past caring.I need him.

Need to feel his thick length filling the space inside me that is suddenly aching and empty.

Need to make him feel as good as he just made me.

Asher leans forward to nip at my bottom lip and soothes the little sting with a gentle kiss. “I’m not sure you’d like that so much, angel. My cock is too big for you.”

“I don’t care.” My legs spread wider, offering myself up to him. He’s probably right, it would hurt, but that isn’t the problem he seems to think it is. “I need to feel it.”

He groans, and the smallest tremor runs through his body. “Not yet, angel. I’m not going to fuck you until you trust me, until you trustthis.”

My heart stalls.

“It’s okay,” Asher murmurs, sensing my silent panic. He lowers his head, leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses over my collar bone. “We’re going to take our time. Do this right.”

He said he wanted to keep seeing me, but we didn’t get into specifics. Asher assuaged his guilt, he could fuck me with a clean conscience, butdo this right? My heart flutters, despite the warning bells going off in my head.

“I do trust you,” I blurt out, working to swallow the lump suddenly lodged in my throat. It’s the truth. I’m not sure there’s anyone I trust more.

It’s myself I don’t trust. Myself and my ability to be the kind of person who could deserve Asher Roth.

His hold on me tightens. “You don’t. Not yet. You’re holding back, and that’s okay. Until today, you thought a lot of things about me,about us, that weren’t true. It’s going to take time. I’m going to show you I’m not fucking around.”

The hand still cradling my breast moves up, pressing flat over the place where my heart pounds wildly beneath my rib cage. My head is spinning, and I can’t keep up with the whiplash of emotions going on inside me. He’s telling me everything I’ve ever wanted, fulfilling my wildest fantasies, but I’m not overjoyed.

Instead, I’m gripped by that same vulnerable, terrified feeling that I was on my first day of college. He wants me now, or he thinks he does, but what will he say when he knows the truth? What will he say when he realizes I don’t know the first thing about how to love someone when no one has ever loved me? Maybe it’s wrong, maybe it makes me a coward and a liar,but if I tell him the truth, I might lose all of him; my friend, and my lover. Not to mention, possibly, my living arrangement.

It seems like keeping my heart out of this is impossible, but I can’t be stupid.

I can’t go all in. Not yet.

Asher lifts his head, and I meet his gaze, carefully composing my expression into something thatisn’temotionally wrecked. “Sorry.” He huffs a laugh, smiling crookedly. “I know I’m putting a lot on you tonight.”

“You’re not.” I don’t exactly sound convincing, though. All week I’ve been careful to manage my expectations, keeping Ruby’s warnings in the back of my mind. I never expected that I’d walk in here and Asher would be ready to change the entire playing field. I’m scrambling to process the jumbled mess of my emotions in real time, and it’s clearly not working. “Okay.” I wince. “You might be. A little.”

Asher’s chuckle rumbles through his body and into mine. Pressed together like this, it’s impossible to miss the ridge of his erection pressed snugly against my stomach. He’s still hard—reallyhard—and Ireallywant to touch it. “You’re incredible.” He grins, and warmth spreads through my belly as he lowers his lips to mine.

It’s a deep, searching kiss, the kind that makes my whole chest feel like it’s going to crack open, but not the kind that suggests he’s trying to push things further than they’ve already gone. Iwantthem to go further, though. I want him undone. This is a man who Iknowtakes care of everyone else: his employees, his patients, and now me. He’s so selfless, and in this moment, I hate it.

Taking advantage of his temporary distraction, I push my hand between our bodies and find the rigid length of his cock in seconds.

Above me, Asher stills, and I watch as his jaw tightens almost imperceptibly. I don’t look away as I begin to stroke him up and down through the damp cotton, looking for signs he’s about to shut this down and silence my protests with more earth-shattering orgasms. “Does that feel good?” I ask softly, heat pooling in my core when his hips jerk into my touch.

He lets out a low hiss between his teeth, his darkened gaze still fixed on my face. Emboldened, my hand moves beneath the waistband of his boxers. I love the way he feels in my hand, the softness of his skin and the steely hardness that pulses under my touch. Tightening my grip, I guide my thumb to the place just below the flared head and press, massaging gently.

Instantly, Asher shudders, his lips parting in surprise.Victory. “I’m not a little girl, daddy. Just because you haven’t fucked me yet, doesn’t mean I don’t know some things.” I murmur coyly as a fresh wave of wetness gathers at my entrance—a response to my own words. “You don’t need to treat me like glass. I’m a lot harder to break than that.”

“I don’t—fuckkkk.” His hips jerk forward. “Adina, angel…”

I love it when he calls me that.

Biting my lip, I gaze up at him innocently. “Can I suck your cock? Please, daddy?” He watches, his chest heaving, as I swipe my thumb over the pre-cum beading at his slit and draw my hand up. When my lips close around the tip of my thumb, sucking it clean with a moan, I see his resolve break.

---