Page 75 of The Last Sunrise

I study it as he turns it around in his palm. “It’s what they look like to me anyway.” Julián rubs the back of his neck, suddenly shy.

“I love it. How freaking corny and sweet.” I lean down and plant a kiss in the middle of his forehead.

Though the colors are more muted due to his color-blindness, it’s fascinating to see how my eyes look through his. I kneel on the rocky shore and search for one to match his. The deep brown with little gold specks of his eyes is harder to find in a rock than I thought it would be.

He teases me as I refuse to give up, scouring through pebble after pebble, turning each one over and comparing them. Ipick up one covered in muddy sand and hold it up to his face. “This’ll do,” I joke, and he grabs it, tossing it into the ocean with a faux-offended look on his face.

“You can give up, you know. This isn’t a competition,” he reminds me as I wipe a bead of sweat from my brow.

“I’m not competing, I just want a rock that matches your eyes, too.” I pout, and he softens, giving up on trying to get me to stop my search.

“Ah ha!” A joyful scream pushes through my lungs as I turn over the most perfect rock. “It’s exactly the same.” I do a little happy dance, lifting the rock to his eye level. “Even the little flakes are in the same spot!” I squeeze it between my hands, pressing it tightly to my chest.

Julián’s happiness is clear on his face, his amusement singing in his laughter and shining in his eyes.

“Good job, baby. I’m glad you finally found your rock.” He presses his shoulder against mine and I lean onto him. The irony of his word choice is not lost on me.

When we get back to the boat, we’ve gathered bread, meat, and cheese to have for breakfast. Julián’s hands are full, the picnic basket in one and the spoils from our shopping in the other, but he refuses to let me help him, so I stroll along, my hands and mind free. Julián drills little holes into our rocks and ties fishing wire through them, creating a necklace for each of us. We vow to never take them off.

“We look pretty good as rocks.” I smile at our somewhat-matching jewelry.

“What if we’re rocks in the next life?” he asks as he finishes tying mine around my neck.

“As long as we’re on the same shore, I’ll be a rock with you anytime.” I smile at the thought. With all the times Julián has brought up past lives and future lives, I desperately hope he’s right and that we get another chance after this one. I don’t mean to be greedy; I know most people never get to experience love like this, but now that I have, I need it to breathe. This life and the next, I need him to breathe.

A gentle knock at the door has Julián on his feet, mouth full of the bread I gathered yesterday. He casually yanks the door open and takes a step back when my mother is standing in the threshold. Bracing for something negative, I try to shield myself emotionally. I’ve had the best weeks of my life, and with the space she’s allowed me, I’ve accomplished everything I wished for this summer.

“Julián.” My mom’s voice is soft, rehearsed, but still polite. “Is Oriah here?”

Julián looks to me, to get my permission to allow my mom to come inside. There’s panic in his eyes, like he’s being yanked awake from a deep sleep. I nod and he turns back to her.

“I’ll come out,” I announce, not wanting her in Julián’s space. Not wanting her to have another reason to judge him.

I grab my phone just in case and slide on a pair of his flip-flops by the door. “I’ll be back in soon, finish eating. I love you.” I kiss his cheek and lead my mom out of the boat and onto the dock.

Wanting to give Mateo the courtesy of not having to see her either, I have us walk back toward the street, away from the water. Just as we are about to step on land, she bends down and runs her fingers over the wooden plank under her feet. Carved there is the same thing as in her old bedroom.

Iz i Mateo

“It’s been ages since I’ve been here, this close. I’ve had to come for… meetings, but not this close to the house… to this dock.”

I let her take her time, not interrupting her quiet walk down memory lane. Though she has no idea, I feel closer to her than I ever have. I don’t think either of us is ready to fully talk about it all, and the last thing I want to do is argue with her, so I need to get a gauge of her emotional state. Is she mad at me for avoiding her? Has the time apart given her the clarity she needed to realize I’m not a helpless child? Has she changed her mind about what her company is doing?

“How have you been? You look well.” She finally breaks the silence between us.

I smile. “I’m good. Never been better, truly.” I mean it. I know she can tell by the color in my face, my sun-kissed skin, the extra weight I’ve put on from not having meal-prep every day and eating until my stomach aches and a yawn escapes.

“I missed you.” She stumbles over the words. I don’t think I’ve ever heard them from her. It might be her first time ever saying them. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. This is the longest we haven’t seen each other, and I wanted to make sure you’re taking your medication and that you’re okay. I tried to give you space, but it… I couldn’t take it anymore.” A rare glimmer of humor crosses her face. “So here I am.” She waves her arms in the air.

I laugh, surprised by her calmness, her good mood.

“Are you okay?” I ask her as we walk down the quiet coastline. She’s not dressed for a walk, but if anyone can do long distances in heels, it’s her.

“I don’t know if anyone has ever asked me that,” she admits, looking genuinely puzzled. “I’m okay. In most senses of the word. Work is… work, and we’re near closing the deal, so everyone has lightened up a bit. It’s been hard not knowing how you are or what you’re doing.”

“You literally have my location.” I make sure the lightness of my intention carries through my tone.

“Just because I have it doesn’t mean I checked it,” she lies, her eyes diverting from mine.

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