Page 2 of Give Me Love

I jump out, darting around them and dodging Mama’s

kicking legs. I swipe the rain from my face after I climb back in and buckle my seat belt.

Looking over at Jace, I see he’s now awake, blinking

his sleepy, innocent sapphire eyes at me. I put my finger

over my mouth, signaling for him to be quiet. Dad slams her door.

“You think you can keep me here,” Mama yells and

kicks the dash. Her dirty blonde hair is soaked and

dripping. He gets back into the car and reaches over her,

grabbing her seat belt and pulling it across her body.

“Don’t touch me,” she says, slapping his hands.

He gives up.

Why does he care so much about a person who continues to hurt him? It confuses me.

She runs; he searches.

She fights; he’s calm.

They make up, filling the house with moans and

grunts. Some nights after a throwdown and hits that

would surely leave bruises on my father, they stay

locked up in their room for hours, rutting on the bed,

causing the headboard to slam against the wall repeatedly.

I’d leave Jace sleeping and climb out onto the roof, lie back, and watch the stars, wondering if this is what my life would always be like.

Would I forever take care of my baby brother? Would my father’s liver give out, leaving us with a mom who couldn’t take care of herself much less her children?

Or would she overdose, and my father soon follow

because his fragile heart couldn’t bear the pain? Would we then be placed into the system filled with lost,

unwanted children?

Life wasn’t always like this. There was a time when Mama was everything. She was beautiful, happy, and I loved her more than anything.

“Come here, baby,” she’d say. “Listen to their

heartbeats.” I’d smile and stick my ear up to her stomach, not really hearing anything but happy to be near her. You see, Jace had a twin, but she wasn’t as strong as my brother and she didn’t make it.

Neither did Mama.

“Why can’t you leave me alone?” she cries as she

covers her face with her hands. He doesn’t look at her as he quietly says in a painstakingly defeated voice, “Because you’re all I have.” I peer up at weak from loving her in the rearview mirror as he tips the bottle up, staring straight ahead at the road. His eyes are tired, red-rimmed. His lips are in a straight line, and he drinks liquor like it’s the last bit he’ll ever have.

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