Page 154 of Give Me Love

Chapter Thirty-Three

Kathrine

The first night I cried myself to sleep, the second I drank myself to sleep, the third I did both, and the fourth, I did neither.

I let it go.

Just like that, I shook it from my mind.

Too bad my heart didn’t get the memo. This weight inside my chest is heavy enough to sink me to the bottom of the ocean. I’d like to forget about the sun rising every day. But the damn thing does it regardless if I want it to or not.

I turn over on my stomach and look at my phone on the floor beside my bed. My alarm will go off in ten minutes, expecting me to yet again start my day. I stare at it, my chest filling up with the usual regret.

Why didn’t I tell him?

If I had told him, I’d probably be with him right now. His mom would be getting help and he wouldn’t hate me. I’m the reason she’s in the hospital. This is all my fault.

I grip onto the sheets under my fingertips. Stupid girl. Tears spring to my eyes, and with a hard exhale I roll back over and wipe them away. Each breath I take stings like needles. The release eases the pressure for just a moment, but the moment is swift.

I’ve tried to call him. He won’t answer. I look up at the ceiling fan just as my alarm goes off. Quickly sitting up, I silence my phone and toss it to the end of the bed.

Sighing yet again, I run my hands through my hair before scrubbing my face. I’ve got to pull myself together.

Yeah, Bryce won’t talk to me, but life goes on. This big ol’ planet will keep spinning just the same and me lying in bed with a broken heart won’t change that. I toss the covers off and head to the bathroom.

Shower, coffee, and then work.

No thinking of Bryce today.

After my shower, I dress casually. Jeans and a black T-shirt, no makeup, and even less effort on my hair, knowing I’ll wear a beanie today. I head into the living room. Claire is sitting at the table with Austin.

“Hey,” she says.

“Morning,” I reply, grabbing my purse and putting it around my neck. I slide my phone inside and begin searching for my keys around the apartment.

“You feeling okay today?” she asks me.

I lift the throw pillow on the couch. “Feeling fine,” I reply, moving the blanket from the cushions to see if they’re under there.

“Want some coffee?” Austin asks.

I spot my keys between the couch cushions. “I kinda own a coffee shop, remember?” I grab an apple from the fruit basket as I head for the door.

“Right,” he says.

“Wanna do dinner tonight?” Claire asks as I twist the knob. I turn to look at her.

“How about we go out? It’s Friday, after all.”

Claire glances over at Austin in surprise. “You sure you’re up for that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I’m acting stupid. The last thing I feel like doing is going out. I’d rather curl up in my bed and forget people exist. But how is that going to help? It’ll only make me feel worse and allow my mind to think and overthink more.

Claire shrugs. “Well, I just thought with Bryce and all…”

“What?” I ask. “Am I supposed to stop living just because he won’t speak to me?”

Claire looks at Austin who stays silent.

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