Page 73 of Hollow Heart

Bobby raises an eyebrow. “Oh? Really? I tell you this big thing, and all you can say isoh?”

“Can I ask you a question?” I pick up my fork.

Bobby blinks, looking a little worried. “I mean, sure, I guess.”

“How long have you known?” I ask delicately. “That you’re gay, I mean.”

Bobby shifts in his chair, pursing his lips as he stabs at some pork. “Since I was fourteen. I guess.”

Two years.

The realization makes me feel like somehow I’ve failed.

As a parent, as a person.

“How do you...know?” I ask, not meaning to sound harsh, but not able to hide the pain and disappointment that he kept something like this from me for so long.

I’m not sure what I would have done, or said, but it’s my job tohelpguide him. To make sure he’s safe, and happy, and?—

Bobby shrugs, catching my gaze. “I mean, how do you know you’re straight?”

His words make my throat constrict, my blood run cold.

Because they sound like an accusation, and despite my desire to answer him and tell him ‘I just know’, I don’t.

Because the moment he says those words, all I can think about is Felix.

I’d told him to leave last night, not because I didn’tlikewhat was happening, or because I felt uncomfortable, but...

Because Idid.

I did like the feel of his lips, the metallic taste of his metal in my mouth, the little groans and whimpers that escaped his throat.

I did like how pretty he looked playing my guitar, lit up by the sunlight in my house.

Shit.

Does that mean I’mnotstraight?

I swallow harshly and my stomach flips, and I blink as I try to process this information.

“I, uh... guess that’s a fair point,” I say evenly, despite my insides feeling like a building has collapsed and we’re short on first responders.

“You’re not... mad?” he asks in the smallest voice, and I hate that he expects such behavior from me.

He’s my fucking kid.

My flesh and blood.

How could I be mad at him over something likethis?

“I’m not mad at you, Bobby. Not about you being gay. I’m a little pissed you got in a fight and got yourself suspended for a day... Even though I am equally proud you gave that asshole what he deserved, your mother would tell you violence isn’t the answer to anything, and she would be right.”

Bobby raises one eyebrow. “Did you say you’reproudI hit that kid?”

I can’t hide the half-smile on my lips as I nod in response. “Yes, I did.”

His half smile melts my heart just a fraction, as I continue.

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