Page 72 of Hollow Heart

But all I can say is, “Okay,” gruffly as he fixes a plate and hands it to me.

I sit down, letting the potent scent of melty cheese and sticky barbecue pork soothe my soul, if only for a brief moment.

Bobby sits across from me with his fork poised in his hand, and my stomach flips.

I don’t know how much more shit I can take today.

I grab my fork and stab a macaroni noodle.

“So... what’s got you all Martha Stewart in the kitchen today? What are you buttering me up for?”

Bobby takes a bite of his barbecued brisket before looking me dead in the eyes.

“Yesterday, I got into a fight with another student because...”

I set my fork down, noting the pain that comes over his face.

But he steels his resolve, swallowing it down like a macaroni noodle.

“Because Callahan called me, and I quote, ‘a piece of shit cock chaser bottom who could only get into college if I fucked my way onto the dean’s list.’”

My blood boils, and my immediate thought is I want tomurderthis kid.

What kind of kid thinks they can go around saying that kind of shit to another person?

Bobby’s smarter than most of those kids in that pricey ass school. For God’s sake, he’s been in gifted since he was in the fourth grade.

“I told him to fuck off and leave me alone... maybe with some choice words about how he’s failing everything but gym and the only way he was going to get in anywhere was is if he could actually score a touchdown, and... and then he got in my face and called me a fag, and then he insulted Brendan, and... and then he hit me, and—” His words come out almost all at once without a breath in between.

I set my fork down as I watch Bobby’s face fall.

There’s that name again, Brendan.

“I just, I didn’t want to be another victim, Dad. I wanted to show that asshole that just because I’m...”

The silence between us is palpable, and I think for a moment he’s going to evade me again.

But he doesn’t.

He looks right at me, his eyes glassy as he says two words that ultimately change everything.

“I’m gay.”

There’s a lot of things you hope you never hear as a parent. Whatever it was I thought he was going to say didn’t matter. Not now.

I thought he was in trouble. That he was going to tell me he knocked up some girl or that he’d gotten caught doing something he shouldn’t have. I know he’s a good kid, but these last few years he’s been so isolated, so quiet, I wasn’t sure hewasn’tgoing through something monumental, but all the parenting blogs advocated I not push the issue, so I didn’t.

But never in a million years did I ever think I’d hear those words come out my kid’s mouth.

I’m gay.

I know my response is pivotal, and will forever change the course of our relationship.

I look at him, underneath the dining room chandelier lights, at his soft green eyes and perfectly windswept hair, and I see myself, but I also see the sparkle of Marci shining through in his bravery.

Because without a doubt, coming out to me like this, in general, takes fucking balls.

There’s a hundred things I could say, but all I settle on is, “Oh.”

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