Page 74 of Hollow Heart

“However, I am a little disappointed you didn’t come to me sooner. Two years is a long time to keep a secret. That can’t have been easy. You must have felt so alone...”

I can only imagine.

He frowns as he pushes around his macaroni. “I wanted to t tell you, but?—”

“But what?” I ask.

“I guess I just needed time to figure some stuff out on my own first.”

This entire conversation is uncomfortable, but parenting in general is uncomfortable.

Doing it alone is like scaling a mountain. It just gets harder the further up you go. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

“So this Callahan, he knows you’re gay? Are you two?—”

“Oh God, no!” Bobby says adamantly. “He’s so not my type. He’s an asshole for one, and two, he’s not even that good looking, and three, he’s not eventhatgood an athlete, and four?—”

I hold my hand up. “I get it. Maybe he likes... you?” I suggest, thinking about all the boys I’d known growing up, before I signed with the record company.

It wasn’t an uncommon behavior for guys to be total dicks to the girls they liked, because they liked them.

Maybe it worked the same way for guys who liked guys?

As I ask the question, my mind filters in thoughts of Felix and his downright bratty attitude.

Is that what was happening betweenus?

Is... Felix gay?

Or is he like me?

He’s been tied to a lot of women in the press, but I know how the rumor mill and tabloids worked. It didn’t mean any of it was true...

Isaax never shied away from his sexual image, but he wasn’t exactly talking about our group sex antics. The world would have lost their minds, and I wasn’t too keen on the world knowing what I did behind closed doors with my wife.

God, I am so out of my element here.

A strange thought permeates my brain and I wonder if sexual preference is hereditary.

It’s not, right?

Bobby rolls his eyes. “No, he’s just an asshole who thinks he can catch the gay.” His voice is sarcastic, but somehow humorous. “Like Felix said, some guys are just assholes.”

I shrug as I take a bite of my macaroni, which has finally cooled down enough it won’t burn my tongue.

“You know, for the record, guys are dicks. Seriously.”

Bobby laughs. “Yeah, but some aren’t. Some are just hard on the outside, and squishy on the inside. Some are worth a hundred Callahans.”

Something about his words soothes something in my soul.

Sometimes kids can be wise beyond their years and not know it.

Sometimes, they can heal you, too.

My next words are careful. I can appreciate the delicacy of the situation, and I know right now I’m not fucking things up, so I’d like to keep it that way. Keep the channel open for my son to come to me if he needs to, even if it makes me uncomfortable because I don’t know probably half of what he does.

“Is it safe to assume you, uh... have someone in your life who is worth a hundred Callahans, or...”

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