Page 21 of Spirit Witch

I was worse than a coward.

I was weak.

I could feel magic pulsing behind the wall, but it was too far away to tell much more than that.If this barricade was my doing, then yes, I understood Judge when he said I was the one who had to break it down.The malice and anger I felt emanating from the fog scared the shit out of me, and I didn’t understand why I would create such a thing.

Something was wrong and out of place, so I shied away, collapsing back into the other reality, where I sat in the middle of the Winter Forest with Judge Dusek, inside a huge tent with paint smeared all over my body.Half-naked, vulnerable, and distraught.

“What happened, Nizhoni?”he asked, his cinnamon bark stare was unwavering as he gazed into my eyes.

I didn’t know what was worse.That he was not angry with me, not even disappointed, or that he seemed to have expected this result.As if my cowardice was just a given.

How was I even supposed to react to that?

To this feeling weighing down on me like Judge knew I would fail before I did.I felt the wall inside me thicken and strengthen as I steeled myself against the feelings of shame and disgrace that threatened to drown me.

A terrible voice from the past whispered in my ear then.I didn’t know who it belonged to, but I shivered against the cruel, bitter words it said, fearing it was right about me.

You’re nothing, Enid.Not a damn thing.

CHAPTER9

“Is she in there?”

“It’s been hours.”

“We want to see her.”

Hours must have passed since I’d arrived at the tent, and I heard voices outside.It was my roommates coming to check on me, and something kindled deep within my chest.Affection maybe.Or gratitude.Possibly both.But I was still too busy feeling sorry for myself to do anything about it.Judge had wrapped me in a blanket and sat me closer to the fire with a mug of steaming tea.I didn’t bother to get dressed, too caught up in my pity party to move from the spot he left me.

“You cannot interfere with this part.It is crucial to her journey.”

“But why can’t we just talk to her?”

“It is too soon.”

I heard him reply in that same emotionless tone he used with me.Fuck him for being such a damned brick wall.I was hurt and angry, mad at myself for not succeeding on my first try.But something blossomed inside of me just knowing my friends were there, trying to see me.

“Fuck this, I’m going in,” Tana growled.

“I wouldn’t,”Judge told her, followed by a zapping sound and anooof.

My lips quirked in a smile, and that was when I realized I’d been crying.But picturing Tana sprawled in the snow on her ass as she cursed Judge out for not letting her in made me laugh out loud.I could almost see the fiery redhead trying to get past him.

He’d already explained how the tent worked.No one could get in or out, living or dead.Which had explained why I hadn’t seen any fades once I was inside.The half a dozen ghosts I’d passed in the forest when I was walking there were easy enough to ignore, anxious as I had been to meet up with him.

Damn.

I was such a mess.Crushing on a guy who didn’t have any use for me.Judge was unemotional at best, and at worst, he pitied me.Hurt squeezed my heart, and I pushed it away, refocusing on the scuffle ensuing outside.Tana cursed him out again, horribly, then I heard Brandon speak calmly to her before scooping her up and carrying her off.

“Please, Judge.We just want to make sure she is okay,”Jade sobbed as if tears would move him.

But I knew better than that.Judge Dusek was ice frozen through.Tears wouldn’t move him.

“No.Not yet.”

“You better know what you are doing, Spiritwalker,” Arlo grumbled.

“Fine.It’s fine.No more fighting.We’re the ones who called him in, so now it’s up to us to trust him,” Jade said.

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