Page 22 of Duped

Portland nodded and managed a smile. “Thank you for showing up and keeping him safe until I got here.”

Shaw smiled like they were old friends. “It’s no problem. Despite whatever you’re facing now, I envy you. He was the one in charge when I arrived. You’ve got a strong one. He can handle this.”

That was the problem. Portland never wanted him to. He flashed a pained smile. “We’ll see soon enough, I’m sure. I might need you again in few minutes. If he kills me, I’d still like you to defend him.”

Shaw shook his head and headed for the door. With a final goodbye, Portland locked up and made his way down the hall. The bedroom door was closed. He wondered if it would be locked against him. The handle easily turned beneath his hand. As he stepped through the door, Tarek looked up from his spot in the center of the bed. The covers were piled around him, as if he was cold. The TV played his favorite cartoon with no sound. His eyes and nose were red. It was beyond obvious he had been crying. Portland’s heart shattered. He never wanted to be the reason Tarek cried.

Tarek turned back the covers, revealing the leather duffle bag. “I had just brought it to the bedroom to get it out of the middle of the floor when the doorbell rang.”

Fuck. His voice sounded so small. Portland moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed. “Did you open it?”

Tarek squeezed the leather, as if needing something to give him strength. “I almost did, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. There’s a terrible feeling in my gut, telling me this bag could destroy us, and I’m not strong enough.” He passed the bag to Portland. “I don’t want to know.”

Portland took the bag from him and set it on his lap. He stared down at the leather. It was specially designed to block the smell of drugs. Nearly a hundred thousand dollars' worth of cocaine was inside and Portland was so desensitized, he had forgotten it for two days in the kitchen. He didn’t want to ruin them, but he also didn’t want secrets to destroy them. “It’s okay if you want to look inside.”

A sweet smile touched Tarek’s lips. “I know, and that’s exactly why I don’t want to.” He drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around them. “It probably makes me look weak or stupid, but you’re all I have. I mean, I know I can always count on Salem, but it’s not the same. For as long as I lived with Salem, and as much as I adore him, I never felt at home. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve felt at home my entire life. Then I met you. You’re my home. If seeing what’s inside that bag costs me you, then I can’t do it. The price is too high.”

Portland couldn’t believe he argued, but this was genuine love. “What if the not knowing ends up killing your love for me? What happens if you spend the rest of your life questioning my every move and wondering what I’m hiding? Losing you would kill me no matter how it happens, but I can’t watch your love for me slowly die.”

Tarek slipped from the bed and took the bag from Portland. He held it in one hand and took Portland’s hand with the other. Portland stood and let Tarek lead him down the hall. He made his way inside Portland’s office. Portland watched as Tarek set the bag aside and pushed aside the false wall, revealing the room-sized safe behind it. He realized Tarek had never been as oblivious as he thought.

Tarek motioned toward the locked safe. “Show me how to unlock it.”

Portland had no idea where this was headed, but he didn’t hesitate to do as told. He set the safe to add a user. “Come here.” Portland led him through the retina scan and fingerprint. They set a code for Tarek together. Then the door swung open.

Tarek didn’t go inside. He turned his back on the room and held out the bag. “You should put this away. I have access now. This isn’t a secret. You’re not hiding anything from me. I’m just not getting involved.”

Damn. He was amazing. Portland moved to take the bag.

Tarek pulled it back and hesitated. “Tell me one thing, though. Are you in any danger? When you walk out that door every day, do I need to be scared?”

Portland closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Tarek. “I swear to you that I’m perfectly safe. Under no circumstances would I endanger you or us. I want us too badly. Nothing matters to me as much as this relationship. You’re not the only one who felt empty and alone when we met.” He kissed Tarek’s temple. “You’re all I have too.”

Tarek squeezed him. He felt Tarek nod. “Okay. I want to make sure everything got put back where it goes in the kitchen. If not, I want Shaw to destroy someone. Right after he presses charges against the stupid chef.”

The chef part was new information, but it made sense. They had left him alone with the bag the night before Portland fired him. The words of a disgruntled employee didn’t carry a lot of weight, thankfully. “I’ll make sure it’s taken care of. Check on the kitchen. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Tarek kissed his throat and stepped around him, leaving Portland alone. Portland stuffed the bag on the shelf with several identical ones. He turned in a circle and eyed the room. A cache of weapons covered one wall. He was glad Tarek wanted access. Now Portland knew he would have the means to defend himself if need be. He reset the safe and slid the wall back into place. The weight on his chest still hadn’t eased. He had never been more scared of losing someone. There was a real possibility he still could.

Portland rounded the corner into the kitchen and found Tarek bustling from cabinet to cabinet. He paused and leaned against the door frame to watch. Tarek was so incredibly beautiful inside and out. He didn’t belong with someone like Portland. But Portland was one of the bad guys, so he had no intention of letting him go.

“What about Zakynthos? There are these caves there over the most beautiful water you’ve ever seen. They also have a gorgeous wedding venue.”

Tarek turned, looking thoughtful. “I was thinking about a beach wedding. I don’t know where that is, though.”

“Greece.”

Tarek brightened. “I love that. As you know, my mom is from there. Even though she’s crazy, and I have very mixed feelings about my family, I’ve always wanted to visit.”

There was a lump the size of a softball in Portland’s throat. He was afraid to hope Tarek’s forgiveness was real. “It’s gorgeous this time of year.”

The hope that lit Tarek’s features nearly broke Portland. “You want to go now?”

Portland nodded. He was beyond speech, but he tried. His voice broke when he spoke. “I can’t let you get away.”

Tarek crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Portland. He buried his face against his throat. Every breath he took brushed his skin. “Okay.” His cold nose pressed even closer. Portland felt him inhale. “I love that smell. Every time I catch a hint of your scent, I feel so safe and loved. Happy. Let’s do it.”

A tear slid down Portland’s cheek before he could stop it. He swiped it away and sniffed. His hold tightened on Tarek. “You’ll always be first and cherished and adored.”

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