Page 13 of Catching Him

Goddamn. It was worse than he thought. Eric had known for weeks. He had known through every wince and his fall. Oakley looked like the liar Eric accused him of being. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? You made me feel like a fucking fool.”

Oakley took a steadying breath. He really hurt today, and Eric deserved better. Panic hit from nowhere. Maybe he didn’t want this life anymore. “Maybe I’m done.” Once the hysteria left his lips, it was over. Oakley couldn’t catch his breath or pull back. Truthfully, he hadn’t allowed himself to process the news fully yet. He had been in a bit of a daze about his situation, unable to cope with the shock. Eric’s fury made everything so very realand hopeless. “I swear I wasn’t trying to trick you into marrying a cripple. That was never my intention. I just fell so hard in love with you, I was scared as hell to miss my chance. Then things got worse so much faster than I expected. But I fully realize you don’t deserve to be stuck with me. So maybe I’m done. If I’m gone, you’ll get everything and you’ll be free. You can find someone who deserves you—”

Eric slapped his hand down on the table so fast and hard, Oakley jumped. “Would everyone please stop fucking saying that to me?” Eric screamed the words, as if beyond conversation. “I choose who’s worthy of me. I choose who deserves my time. Goddamn. Do you have any idea how fucking hurtful those words are? How condescending? Find someone who deserves you,” Eric mocked. “I fucking know what I’m worth. That’s just a goddamn excuse to break me. And if you think for one fucking second you’re going to die on me, you’re a goddamn idiot.” He had never seen Eric enraged. It was kind of hot and snapped Oakley from his panic attack. Unfortunately, though, Eric wasn’t done. “In fact, if you ever even say that to me again, I’ll call the police and have you put on a psych hold. I swear to God I will. Just try me. I won’t be manipulated like that.”

“I would never try to manipulate you.”

Eric slapped the table again. “Did I say I was fucking finished? You will tell me everything and I mean everything from here on out. I will be going to these appointments and how fucking dare you doubt me? Do you think I’m shallow? Do you think I’m weak? Do you think my love is so flimsy, it would collapse under a treatable disease? Any disease, for that matter.” He stared at Oakley, barely blinking. “Well?”

“I didn’t know if I was allowed to talk yet,” Oakley admitted.

Eric growled.

Oakley made a calming gesture. “None of those things kept me silent. I just…” Oakley’s hands rose and fell. “You’ve been through so much, and I wanted to be your happiness and peace.” He took a deep breath. Oakley knew he could tell Eric anything, especially things he couldn’t tell anyone else. “And I’m wrecked.” His voice broke. Oakley cleared his throat. “Absolutely shattered, actually. I’m being told I’m no longer the person who made it all the way to more than a decade of pro. That guy is gone. It’s not like I thought I’d go back to pro or some shit. I just didn’t expect I would lose everything about myself after retirement. How do I go from being the guy who constantly stays active to being told to sit down? I’m trying like hell to figure it out. I guess I didn’t know what to say to you. You didn’t fall in love with a disabled man. I didn’t know what to say,” Oakley repeated. It honestly came down to that. He didn’t know how to explain what he didn’t know. Oakley didn’t know what his future looked like. So how could he reassure Eric about their life together?

“I fell in love with your heart.” Eric’s soul was in his eyes. “All those nights on the phone when you didn’t let me feel alone. All those times you were proud to be seen with me when no one else ever had been. You can’t know how you stole me. I would rather be with you under any circumstances than anyone else in the world, but I can’t make you see that. I can’t make you see me.”

The urge to cry was massive. His voice gave that secret away. “I knew you’d stay. That’s what makes me the bad guy. I saw you,fell in love, and stayed silent, all while knowing you would stay. What does that tell you about me?” He already knew. Oakley knew he was selfish.

A sweet smile touched Eric’s lips. “It tells me you’re as scared of losing me as I am you.”

So much hit Oakley at once. Too much. He tried to speak, but his voice only sounded like a hoarse whisper. “I don’t want to do this alone.”

Eric leaned forward and took his hand. His gaze never wavered from holding Oakley’s stare. “You’re not alone. That’s not because you trapped me. It’s because I love you and we’re in this life together.”

He meant it. Oakley had no idea why this amazing man chose him, but he had. “I really need some help today.” That admission took everything Oakley had, but he was tired, and he hurt. Life felt like moving through quicksand and he was drowning.

With a nod, Eric stood. He helped Oakley to his feet. “Come on. Lean on me.”

Oakley knew he gave Eric too much of his weight, but Eric didn’t complain. He helped Oakley to bed. While Oakley sat on the edge of their mattress, Eric undressed him like he would a child. Oakley might have been humiliated, but it was Eric.

Eric winced at the ugly bruises from last night’s fall. “Damn, baby. What can I do?”

Oakley answered as Eric tucked him in. “Will you hold me?”

Eric circled the bed. “I’d already planned to do that. Do you need anything else?”

Oakley shook his head. “Just your love.”

Eric’s eyes burned with intensity when he met Oakley’s stare. “You have that.”

He knew. Goddamn. It was amazing and beautiful. Eric stripped down to his underwear and then molded against Oakley. Oakley sighed in relief. There was no scientific reason for him to feel better for being in Eric’s arms, but he did. So much tension eased from him. He understood they still had so much left to talk about, and they would. For now, though, Oakley needed a nap. He needed Eric.

Chapter Nine

A nap cleared Eric’shead. It helped that Oakley was in his arms. Eric kept placing light kisses on his hair, trying not to wake him, but he couldn’t stop. His heart demanded his affection go somewhere. Oakley’s expression as he had confessed everything haunted Eric. The pain and suffering Oakley had hidden from him was way more than Eric anticipated. It broke his heart. Eric had been right here, more than willing to be the rock. He hated Oakley hadn’t trusted more in their relationship. Fast marriage or not, they were strong. They were meant to be. Oakley would never fight alone.

He couldn’t stand to see the dark bruises Oakley sported. Eric knew they probably were only a tiny fraction of the pain Ericcouldn’t see. He wanted to make it better. Eric just didn’t know how to help, so he let Oakley sleep.

Oakley’s cellphone rang on the bedside table. Before Eric could silence it, Oakley’s arm shot out. He blindly patted the table until he found the device. Oakley answered and switched the call to speaker.

“Hello?” There was no missing the grogginess in Oakley’s voice.

“Did I wake you?”

Eric didn’t recognize the voice.

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