Page 28 of Justice for Samara

“No. You didn’t hurt me. But I’m pretty fucking confused right now.” There was no malice in his voice, no frustration or anger, and she was thankful for that.

“Long story. I’m sorry.” She rolled with her back to him. “I won’t blame you if you want to go.”

“Oh, no. You’re not getting out of this that easily. We need to talk about this.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

She heard him sigh before he spoke. “Samara, normally I would say that was fine. Give it time. Do it when you’re ready. But not this time. If we can’t talk this out, if you can’t explain, then we can’t move forward. I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want you to accidentally hurt me. And I don’t want to be responsible for making you feel worse instead of better. I want to move forward. Do you want to move forward with me? Or do I remind you too much of someone else?”

That made her sit straight up on the bed. “No. You donotremind me of someone else. It was… It was…” She couldn’t finish.

“What? What did I say?” Just from his expression, she knew he was running through everything he’d said, trying to find the key to a door she wasn’t sure she wanted to unlock. “The last thing I said… I said I wasn’t some animal with no self-control.” Just the words made her flinch, and his whole countenance changed. “When? When did it happen? Talk to me, babe. Just talk to me. I’ll do whatever I can to help you, but you’ve got to trust me. If you can’t trust me enough to talk to me about this, there’s no hope for us.”

Shame was drowning her, and she knew her face was fire-engine red under her dark skin. “I haven’t told… Nobody knows that…”

“Yeah, well, I’ve done enough interviews with victims to know what’s going on here. I just need to know who and when.”

“No. It was three years ago, and I… I can’t tell you who it was.” She was shaking again, but that time, it was with pure fear. He was getting close to the truth, too close, and if he found out… It wouldn’t be good. She was sure of that.

“While you were KSP?” She nodded. “A perp?” She shook her head. “Friend?” Another head shake. He sat there for a few seconds, and then his face fell. “A fellow officer?” When she didn’t respond, his eyes went wide. “It was a fellow officer? Who the hell was it?” Her lips wouldn’t move, and her throat wouldn’t make sound. “Samara, you’ve got to tell me. If he did that to you, he’s a threat to every woman he comes in contact with. If a fellow officer couldn’t fight him off, civilian women don’t stand a chance. He could keep doing it.”

Through her sobs she stuttered, “I-I-I-I think he al-al-already has.”

“Jesus, babe! Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because! Because I knew he’d come after me! Because I knew my life would be in danger! He’ll kill me if I ever talk, Michael. You know he will.”

“You don’t know that. And I don’t know that, because I probably don’t even know him.” Samara struggled, but she knew her face was giving it away. “I know him? I don’t know that many state troopers. Just a handful. A couple of guys I met at some special trainings at the academy. One from a charity event we helped Post1 with.”

It was only a matter of seconds and he’d figure it out as she cried harder and harder. Couldn’t he leave well enough alone? What would he do when he figured it out? Every inch of her body was trembling with fear. And then her worst nightmare became reality.

“And that fucktard, AlexStadler.”

Every second of horror, grief, and shame bubbled up in Samara’s throat and she couldn’t stop screaming. She screamed the same way she had that night, the way she had when he’d first grabbed her, the way she had while he was violating her, and it had done no good, but she still screamed. She screamed until her gut hurt and she doubled over. When the screams subsided, she couldn’t stop wailing and sobbing. Michael wouldn’t want her. No man would want her.

A voice cut through her pain. “Samara? Samara, was it Stadler? You need to tell me, babe.”

Gasping for breath, she managed to sit up, her face soaked and her nose running. “God, please, Michael, don’t say anything. Please don’t. He’ll kill me. You know he will.”

“Not if I kill him first.”

“No! No, you can’t do that!”

“That’s a knee-jerk reaction, babe. I wouldn’t. I can’t. But I can definitely arrest him.”

“No, you can’t. There’s no evidence.”

“Then we’ll get some.”

“How?”

“I have no idea.”

Would he go for it? Could she convince him she could do it? “I may have a way.”

“Did… you… save something? Keep it all this time?”

“No. But there’s been a string of rapes in this county.”

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