Page 92 of Your Pucking Mom

“He’d have to come with you to work?” I asked.

Her smile fell. “It’s my mom…”

“You don’t have to tell me anything, Sunshine.” I reached my fingers up to her cheek, touching her cool skin because I missed her touch against mine, though we’d been apart for mere minutes.

She shook her head. “At the last game, I think mentally I was all fucked up because of her too, which is why I pulled away from you. I was emotionally drained from being with her, and then I saw the team interacting, and felt like I’d somehow ruin all of that.”

“We’re together. A team,” I promised. She shook her head.

“But are we a team, Ledger? That’s my whole point. I don’t want to break up the team that you already have. Look at your relationship, even with Alex.”

I laughed. “Alex is my best friend. You’d never come between that.”

“Ugh.” She threw up her hands, her hot cocoa spilling a little. “But with Austin? If he ever found out, it would ruin it all, and then I would be to blame, again.”

A lone tear fell and my fingers went to wipe it, but she pushed off my fingers. “Let it fall. It makes me feel human when I cry.”

I pulled away but kept my finger trailing circles around her arm, offering her a safe space. “My mom is a narcissist, but it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I finally was able to realize it. My entire life, I thought I was thebadchild and did everything wrong.” She sniffled.

“She’d watch Austin for me and then the next day tell me how selfish I was because I didn’t clean the coffee filter because I was working and going to school full-time.” She brushed her hair off her face and took a sip of her drink before her blues met my gaze.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this.” She laughed.

“Sunshine,” I whispered, my voice carrying a gentleness, wishing to assure her that everything would be okay. She didn’t need that reassurance from me. She didn’t need anyone telling her how to feel or giving her false hope. That had been instilled in her by her mother and wielded as both shield and sword. I refused to offer her what she already possessed inside. Instead, I resolved to provide her with the one thing she clearly deserved: space and the safety it represented. Hopefully, she would see that space as an opening to share with me. Because people weren’t supposed to use their kindness as a weapon to get what they wanted from you.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t do that,” I demanded, my fingers still circling her shoulders.

“Do what?”

“Don’t try to end something because you think it would be too heavy for me or it’ll ruin something. I know this seems absolutely silly.” I pointed at the rink. “But you were right. We need to get to know each other, and I was hoping we could have these conversations. I hoped I could give you a space to have them.”

She nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered before her lower lip pursed over the cup. She looked down and grabbed two skate guards from the ground.

“What’re these for?”

48

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The penalty box was small as it was meant to house a few players, unlike the longer player box on the other side of the rink. I picked up a long piece of plastic that was stuffed inside.

“Those are guards for the skates.” Ledger picked one of them up and attached it to his skate. The bottom where it touched the ground had ridges that almost resemble teeth to help him walk, and then it curved up into a short L-shape to cover the top of his skate.

I picked up the other guard and ran my fingers over the rough ridges on its edge. I cocked my head to the side, letting the scratchiness rub along my fingers.

Ledger’s mouth was on mine as he shifted me to sit on his lap, his hand pulling me over with ease. I dropped the guard I was touching onto the bench beside me.

“Ledger,” I squealed. “My skates are still on.”

He pulled away slightly to look at me. “A little blood never scared me, Sunshine.” His eyes were hooded as he stared at my lips like he wanted to devour them.

His mouth was back on mine, but nothing about his kiss was sweet this time. It was pure, desperate neediness. “Oh, Ledger,” I moaned.

“Say my name louder, Sunshine. I want everyone to hear you call out my name.” He groaned as his hands trailed over to the waistband of my leggings.

“Ledger,” I cried out again, repeating his name.

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