Page 82 of Your Pucking Mom

Her free hand rose to swipe at the tears welling in her eyes, each droplet tearing at my soul. “I-I…We…we can’t do this,” she said. “There’s too much at stake.”

Tears continued to build in her eyes. I shook my head, a fervent denial of the reality before me. “I’d give up everything this instant just to hold on to one more moment with you,” I confessed, my voice choked with raw emotion, echoing the depths of my longing.

“No,” she sobbed, angling her face toward the door. “Please don’t speak those words to me. You don’t truly know me.”

“I know you,” I declared, my heart laid bare in my words. “It’s a fact, like the way I know that the sun rises and sets each night. When you’re laughing, I know the way your rogue curl falls across your face. I’ve memorized the gentle curve of your smile including the sparkle in your eyes that lights up when you hear something funny.”

“I know the subtle changes in your mood, the way your scowl deepens when you’re upset, and the way your eyes soften with affection when you look at Austin. I know that you put everyone else in front of your own needs and wants.”

She tried to interrupt, but I continued, “I know the warmth of your embrace, the way your body fits against mine like two pieces finally reunited. But most of all, I know the way I feel for you burns within me. I know it in every beat of my heart, in every breath I take, in every moment we share together. And no matter what, I will always know you, Sunshine, because you are mine.”

During my speech, she had shifted away from the door, her back pressed against the wall. Our hands found each other, fingers intertwining as she sought grounding amid the storm of emotions.

Between us, silence stretched, punctuated by the sound of our shared breaths. I kept my gaze locked on hers, searching for a flicker of understanding in her eyes. “Ledger,” she whispered.

“Yeah, Sunshine?” I replied, my voice soft with anticipation, eager for her response, hoping it held the clarity I sought.

“I don’t know what to do,” she whimpered. “The game… My mom…I don’t have the best?—”

My fingers traced the edges of her lips, silencing the trembling words before they could escape. I cupped her cheeks, feeling her suppress a small moan. I couldn’t take her here, not in my best friend’s house, but if I could, I would take away all her pain. She was my sweet Sunshine, and I wanted to show her the warmth she brought into my life.

“Shh,” I whispered, my mouth brushing her ear as I pressed a kiss on that sensitive spot by her lobe.

“I can’t.” Another small noise escaped her mouth, and it was a cross between a primal groan and the sweetest little moan I’d ever heard. I was immediately hard and pushed my hips into her, molding our bodies into one.

“We’re at your friends’ house,” Auburn whispered. Her hands wrapped around my waist, and I lifted her so we could be face-to-face. Her legs wrapped around my hips as our noses came close to touching.

“Come upstairs,” I all but begged her.

“I can’t.” Her voice shook as if she was unsure as she dropped down to the floor, adjusting her shirt. “I have to stay for dinner. I promised Damien earlier.”

“Think about it?” I asked her. “I promise to be a better friend to you.”

She nodded. What I didn’t tell her was what I believed from Alex—all good relationships started as friendships, because without being friends with your partner, what foundation did the relationship have to grow from? She wasn’t ready to hear that.

“Okay,” she whimpered. “I’ll think about it.”

“You go first,” I insisted, knowing Alex and Stassi were probably eavesdropping on our entire conversation from down the hallway.

The corners of her lips twisted into a smile as she looked me up and down. “You look like shit, though.”

I let out a small chuckle. I didn’t care about appearances. All I wanted was to have her back in my life. If I was going to rebuild our relationship, I had to start with a strong foundation, and then I could build something more meaningful on top of it.

“Hey,” I murmured, and she spun on her heel, her curls bouncing as she turned. Her eyes locked onto mine. “I’m glad I saw you tonight.”

43

auburn

It was as though he had professed his love to me. In all my years, no one had expressed such genuine care and admiration toward me as Ledger did in that hallway. His words were like a spell, captivating me entirely. As I stood there, I was entranced, hanging on to each syllable as if they were the most beautiful melody I had ever heard or the most heartfelt declaration I had ever witnessed. It felt like I was living my own fairy tale, which felt wrong because I wasn’t built for fairy tales. I was meant to live in a world of harsh realities, not a fictional paradise.

But with Ledger? Everything was right yet so wrong at the same time. My mind couldn’t decide if he was worth risking it all—my heart, the breath in my lungs, the very structure I had created to protect myself. Was he worth breaking it all down for?

I bought myself some time by walking back into that living room. I plastered on a smile, one Emma would be proud of me wearing.

“Well, if there’s room for one more, I’d love to stay for dinner with you guys,” I said. “Damien requested it.”

Stassi and Alex were in the living room, frozen at the island before they blinked, then snapped back into reality. “Yes. Oh my God, of course.” Stassi was the first one to speak.

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