Page 120 of Your Pucking Mom

She pulled back and hesitated. “How do you feel about Austin?” I was curious. I wanted to see if she would run away from me.

“I feel…better. I’m glad you guys got together and talked.”

“I don’t think it’s perfect,” I said truthfully. “But I think he respects our decision.”

She nodded. “I can’t live without either of you. I was so sad. It’s been hard for me to get out of bed the past couple of weeks knowing that I ruined everything.”

I grabbed her waist, pulling her tight against me, and dropped my head into her curls where I whispered, “It’s not you, Auburn. I need you to realize that it wasn’t your fault. We were in this together. We will always be in this together.”

Finally, summoning the courage, I sought her permission, my voice tinged with longing. “Can I kiss you?” She met my gaze, tilting her chin upward and parting her lips instinctively in silent consent.

Every soft brush of her lips felt like time had stopped. Each kiss was fire and tenderness, consuming me entirely. In her, I found everything I needed to keep going.

When we finally pulled away, I gestured to the table. “I wanted it to be like the first time we officially met, so I brought us sushi…again.”

“Officially met?”

“Yeah. The first time you were crying, so it doesn’t count. The second time, you didn’t recognize me, so this is the third time.”

She smiled, her cheeks flushed from our intense kiss. Before she could say a word, I said, “Please, sit.”

She obliged and pulled out the chair next to me. She sat at the head of the table, and I was next to her, but I’d moved our chairs so we were facing each other, our knees touching.

I poured out her soy sauce and mixed it with the wasabi. “You remembered.”

“I don’t know how many ways I have to tell you I’ll remember everything. My heart bleeds for every part of you.”

“Even the broken parts?”

“Especially those.”

She looked at me, reaching down to grab my knees. “I didn’t mean to say those hurtful things or push you away. I’ve never been in a normal relationship, so all I know is how to shut people out when they get too close.”

She sighed, and I gently wiped away the small tear that rolled down her cheek. “I don’t know how to be different,” she whispered, her voice barely breaking the silence in the apartment.

“You don’t need to be different, Sunshine. You just need to be mine.”

She gave me a soft smile, the corners of her lips turning ever so slightly. “I’m scared of messing up again. I’m scared I’ll get sucked into something, and when I need the door, it won’t be there for me to open. I’m scared that I’ll end up one day like my mother when I work so hard to be nothing like her.”

Her voice cracked at every period at the end of her sentences. Her words broke my heart. I had to keep reminding myself of what Stassi told me. I couldn’t fix everything, sometimes I needed to listen. So listen was what I did. I paused, allowing the silence to wrap us both up like a hug, giving her the comfort to continue. “I don’t want to be that person anymore, Ledger. I don’t want to mask my pain with this willingness to do the complete opposite. I don’t want to have every single day be filled with rainbows, because sometimes it’s okay to embrace the raindrops that fall.”

“You’re right,” I echoed. “Some days are meant for staying in bed and leaning on someone to help you get up.”

“I’ve never had anyone to lean on,” she whispered again.

“You do now.”

She turned her head back over to the food where she grabbed the chopsticks and dunked her roll into the wasabi-soy mixture. “Thank you for this,” she added with a mouth full of soy sauce.

We ate in silence mostly, but there were times when we shared a few stories from our past. Both of us staying away from anything too heavy.

After dinner, I headed over to the couch. “If this were like the first time we met,” she said, pointing at the spot between the living room and the kitchen, “I’d be right there on my knees again, begging you to teach me how to properly suck your cock.”

I chuckled, a hint of darkness in my tone. “Beg, and I just might.”

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