Page 53 of Your Pucking Mom

“Youcando this,” I reassured her.

She clutched her body tightly, attempting to calm her breathing to no avail.

Fuck it.

Fuck what anyone else might think; if they saw her like this, they would know why I was doing what I was about to.

I undid my seat belt, turning so I was sitting next to her, then pulled my buckle tightly. As I sensed her distress, I reached out to her, my touch gentle as I tried to comfort her. “Hey, look at me,” I said, my voice calm and reassuring. “You’re going to be okay. We’ll get through this together.”

The turbulence amplified her anxiety, and she wrapped her arms around herself. I was fucking helpless and needed to do something fast. I placed a hand on her trembling knee, my touch reassuring.

“Listen to me,” I murmured, my voice a soothing balm. “I want you to focus on the here and now. Can you do that for me?” She nodded, her gaze locking with mine.

“Good,” I continued, my tone steady and calm. “Now, I want you to name five things you see around you. It’ll help ground you in the present moment.”

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. “I see…” she began, her voice trembling slightly. “I see the empty seat in front of me, the red nails that I painted for the game, the phone in my hand telling me I’m losing my UNO game, the sweat on my palms…”

I chuckled, encouraged by her jovial tone, but urged her to continue. “One more.”

“I see your hand holding onto my knee. I see you sitting next to me.” She swallowed as her eyes looked into mine, then I knew I was right all along. There was no way I would ever be just friends with Auburn Hart.

26

auburn

I swallowed, getting lost in his deep-amber pools. Suddenly, the hum of the plane and the bouncing between clouds felt like nothing.

“I see your brown eyes. I see your black beard. I see your thick lips.” The last sentence came out breathier than the previous one, but I couldn’t help it.

A hand squeezed my leg, and I looked down at Ledger’s massive hand resting just above my knee.

“Good. We’re almost there.”

I looked out the window, and before I could let the panic seep back into my bones, I heard his gruff voice again. “Five things you can hear.”

I nodded, trying desperately to focus on his words. “I hear the hum of the engine.”

“Good,” he replied, his voice smooth, then he squeezed my thigh. “Another.”

“I hear the buzzing of my phone.” He smiled.

“Gimme another, Sunshine.”

“I hear the wheels of the plane coming out, which must mean we’re landing soon.” His smile somehow widened, however possible that was.

“Last one.”

“I hear your smooth voice coaching me down from this embarrassing panic attack.” His smile disappeared, then he looked behind him before pressing his mouth to the shell of my ear.

“We’re here.” I leaned over to look out the window again and realized we’d landed, and he was already unbuckling and removing his hand from my thigh.

The lights of the plane turned on, and Ledger jumped up from his seat. I ripped off the belt and tried to rush down the aisle, but Ledger blocked me from leaving.

“Oh, fuck,” I muttered as I hoisted myself onto the seat to grab my bag and smacked my head on the ceiling. Ledger chuckled. “Ledger, let me out.”

“Mom?” Austin shouted, and for a moment I hesitated, desperate to see if Ledger would say anything, but he looked away and shook his head.

“Yeah?” I called.