Page 76 of Play With Me

I stopped when I saw her face drain of all the blood.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She lowered my hands away from her and moved to where the rainwater was dripping from rocks above, right in front of her face. Her arms were crossed as she looked out into the distance. The cascading water enclosed us, giving us privacy in the middle of nowhere.

“You said you had a specific lifestyle,” I whispered. “I mean, I’m a pretty open guy. You can talk to me. There’s not much that I haven’t tried in my lifetime. A lot of women love blindfolds and handcuffs. I’m fine with paddles, floggers, whips, chains. I can play with you any way you want. Whatever it is, I’m pretty sure I can handle it. Just please don’t mention strap-ons.”

She whipped her body around and I knew I’d pushed the joke too far, but I’d give anything to lighten the mood now. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t quite figure her out. Why did she seem so closed off sometimes? A new stream of drops materialized from above, right by my shoulder, and I wasn’t sure whether this small enclosure was sufficient to keep us dry and warm for long. When I stepped forward, she stopped me with her hand, saying, “What you are is a shit head.”

“Okay… that’s definitely a first for me.”

I frowned, and watched a bemused smile spread over her face. “Oh, you’re mocking me.”

“Yeah, because you are a shit head. The lifestyle I was talking about in Emma’s office has nothing to do with sex or whatever other kinky shit is on your mind. Jesus, Brook, you need to whack off a bit more often because the way you’re going, you’ll start walking in a zigzag.”

What?

“If it’s not sex, what is it, then?”

Her lips thinned into a line, and I knew that Lola was either about to spill it or completely shut down. I took her frozen hands into mine and said, “It’s not a secret how much you mean to me. I want to be here for you, Lola. I want to know everything there is to know about you, the good and the bad. I want to hear it so that I can take the bad away.”

She tightened the grip on our connected hands, and it felt like we stood there for forever, the steam of our breaths collecting between us.

“It’s… it’s… look, I’m not into this happily ever after thing that couples usually have. That’s why I haven’t really had a relationship in… in a long time. That’s why I concentrate on work. Happily ever afters, proposals, marriages, kids — all those things just don’t work for me.”

She shifted, checking behind her as the water seeping over the rocks turned into a steady stream, partially sealing us underneath the escarpment.

“Listen, I know you’re apprehensive about relationships, but—”

“It’s not just that, Brook. I… I can’t dohappybecause it won’t last.”

“Whatever, Lola. That’s bullshit because I know you can’t deny there’s something special between us.” I pointed back and forth, from her to me. Jesus, that sounded quite desperate. But yeah, I was a desperate man, and at this point I couldn’t imagine my life without Lola. Except she didn’t even know the real me. She didn’t know that I was a committed father who wanted nothing more than to make a good life for his daughter. Lola was good for us both, and Sophie took to her like chocolate syrup to vanilla ice cream.

Fuck me!

The more time I spent with Lola, the more I sounded like her. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s been a while since I dated too, and I didn’t think I wanted this, but isn’t dating what we’re doing anyways?”

She looked up again. A few drops caught on her eyelashes, gluing them together. She swept her hand over her eyes to clear them. “We do have something special, but I don’t want you to get too attached.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because as soon as you feel comfortable, BAM! It will be gone.”

“You’re not making any sense, my queen. Whatever it is you’re afraid of, I know you’re strong enough to overcome it. Don’t you see that you can have anything you desire?”

“And be all you can be?” she said in a mocking tone, and then let out an exasperated breath. I wanted to make this woman happy so much that it hurt.

“You can talk to me, Lola. Please, talk to me.”

“Life is not a game, Madman.”

Okay?“Lola, I’m not playing any games. Obviously, I would have much preferred to play with you in other ways, but, well, now it doesn’t look like that will happen either.”

“Are you seriously thinking about sex right now?”

How did this conversation go so wrong so fast? “I’m just saying.”

“It’s not gonna happen, Madman.”

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