Page 80 of Playmaker

I shrugged.

“So, why are you fucked, Callie? Do you like him?”

Did I like him? He was attractive. Considerate. Kind. Whole layers below the public Cooper people saw. But I didn’t “like” people. “Not the way you’re thinking.” I didn’t, did I?

“Then what is it?”

“It was…it was the best sex of my life. He took his time. Paid attention, as he called it. I didn’t even recognize myself.”

“Holy shit.”

“What?”

“That must have been spectacular. I’m envious.”

“But this wasn’t supposed to be about sex.” Sex that made me feel this way—it could lead to feelings, and that wasn’t allowed.

“So you two did the deed, you came incredibly hard, and you took off like a bat out of hell after.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but he had the essentials there.

“If he offers another incredible orgasm, you can say no. But don’t say no just because you’re scared, sweetie.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Aren’t you?”

I swallowed. “If I was scared, then wouldn’t it be a sign that there was danger, and I should avoid it?”

“Well, yeah. If this was 50,000 BC and we lived in caves and there might be a saber-toothed tiger around.” Darcy waved his hand at the screen, and yeah, there was a notable shortage of tigers and caves. “You’ve worked so hard to make something of yourself, to feel safe. Maybe you’ve done too much of that.”

Darcy knew me better than anyone else. We’d both had too little security growing up. Had I gone too far to the opposite extreme in the interests of being safe? Far enough that it was going to hurt me?

“You’re saying I should have sex with Cooper as an acceptable risk?”

He choked. “How much risk is there? You used protection, right?”

“Of course.” No accidental pregnancies.

“Will it harm your career or your chances of making partner?”

“No, not when the firm does charity work with the hockey team.”

“Will the sex ruin you for anyone else?”

I rolled my eyes at him.

“Will you get hurt?”

I narrowed my eyes. “Are you asking if I’ll fall in love with him?”

“Callie, despite what you think, that wouldn’t be the worst thing. Especially if he falls in love with you.”

“Not gonna happen.” Cooper was not falling in love with me, and I wouldn’t let myself fall in love with him. With anyone.

Darcy laid his head on the couch. “It’s your life. But maybe consider if this might be a gift. You’ve earned a reward. Treat yourself to some hot sexy times while you learn how to be a country club zombie. And you know, if you meet any of his teammates who aren’t strictly straight…”

I doubted any hockey players were out, but if I found one, I’d definitely introduce him to Darcy. He had emerged from the same hellish background I had, but it hadn’t made him hard and prickly like me. He hadn’t closed himself off to a relationship. I didn’t know how he could consider a risk like that, but he did.

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