Page 15 of Unstoppable You

Over the next few days,I thought about Delaney way too much. It was like a mental compulsion. Anytime my thoughts drifted away from what I was trying to do, they veered right back in her direction. Delaney with pistachio cream on her chin. Delaney listening to me as I fumbled through my apology.

She’d grown into herself and even though there was a visible sadness that wrapped around her like a blanket, there was also a new confidence to her and the way she carried herself, the set of her shoulders that she hadn’t had when she was a kid.

What did she see when she looked at me? I’d gone through changes as well, and not just with my piercing and my hair and my clothes. Did she see me now? Or did she only see the person I’d tried to be years ago?

The girl she’d known who had said so many hurtful things was playing a part. A role she hated but didn’t know how to give up. I wouldn’t say that our suffering was the same by any means, but I’d been a miserable wreck then.

I wasn’t as miserable anymore (most of the time) and I liked to think I’d gotten my act together. At least my career was something I could point to that I’d created and built on my own.

My parents thought my job was a joke, but I’d long stopped caring about their opinions, if I ever had. My family wasn’t where I’d gotten any of my validation, and I’d learned that very early in my life.

Turning away from my bleak thoughts, I turned on my TV to distract my brain with something else. Anything else.

Now that I’d adjusted to life here again, I really wanted to make some friends. Not an easy task when you worked from home.

I’d rather lay down in the street and let every car run over me than try to reconnect with anyone I’d been friends with from school. So many of them had moved away anyway, including Eva, the ringleader of the bullying group. Every now and then I looked her up and saw that she’d become a nurse and moved to Arizona. God help her patients.

I looked online for various activities that I could join as a first step. Run club was an option, but I was never going to train for a marathon or anything like that. Runners seemed really intense. Was there a strolling club? That would be more my speed. A link caught my eye and I clicked on it to find that Between the Sheets had a book club once a month, as well as several other crafting nights and book signings. That was something. Book lovers were definitely my kind of people.

There was just one small problem with the book club: Delaney would be there. I’d be invading her space and I wasn’t sure that was a good idea. Still. I found myself putting in an order for the book and signing up for the emails about the club. The next one wasn’t for a few weeks, so I had time to smooth things over with her beforehand. And even if I didn’t go, I’d at least get to read a good book.

* * *

Over the nextweek I fully adjusted into my new life in the city. Work was steady and kept me busy, and I was loving my office space now that it wasn’t a desk crammed in my tiny bedroom. Having lots to look at out the window was essential for me. There was also a fantastic coffee shop within walking distance that I went to almost every day and their French toast latte was my new favorite thing.

Delaney was still on my mind constantly. Anytime I saw someone with long blonde hair, I’d do a double take and make sure it wasn’t her. Unfortunately for me, there were a hell of a lot of blonde beauties in the area, so I made a lot of embarrassing mistakes.

“Sorry, I thought you were someone else,” was something I’d said more than a few times by the time the weekend rolled around. Even though I didn’t have a typical nine-to-five job, I forced myself to keep nine-to-five hours.

I’d burned out right when I started my consulting business and it had been hell and I’d do anything to prevent that from happening again. Only after resting, speaking with a therapist, and reprioritizing my life had I come out of it.

I visited Sapph again on Friday night and danced my ass off, ending the night with a hangover and sore feet. Saturday called for sleeping in, taking it easy at a late Pilates class, and a huge brunch after.

I did my usual check when I walked into Pilates and put my mat down and sure enough, there was a blonde ponytail that I recognized across the room. Pretending I wasn’t staring at her and waiting for her to turn around, I arranged my mat and water and went to get my weights.

She finally turned so I could see her face and it was like I hit a wall and couldn’t move. So many times this week I’d thought I’d seen her and now she washere.

Delaney looked up and met my eyes, her face immediately forming a scowl as she recognized me.

I shrugged and pointed at my spot across the room. She wouldn’t even notice me.

She huffed and rolled her eyes, sipping at her water.

Not knowing what else I could do, I sat on my mat and faced the front of the room.

Chapter Seven

Delaney

I tookone or two Pilates classes a week and she justhadto end up in one of them.

At least she was on the other side of the room, so I didn’t have to look up and see her. If she hadn’t literally stared at me so hard that I felt it, I probably wouldn’t have seen her at all.

Fuming, I kept my focus on the instructor, refusing to give James even a fraction of my attention or energy. All of that was reserved for getting through this class alive. It was a higher difficulty level than I was accustomed to, and about ten minutes in I was regretting all my life choices.

The minutes crawled by as I flopped on my mat and lifted weights that were so small but made my arms hurt so much. By the end I was pouring sweat, shaking, and desperate for Belgian waffles covered in chocolate and bananas, bacon, and a frothy latte.

I dilly dallied until I was the last one in the room so I could hopefully avoid James in the locker room. Walking as slowly as I could without tripping over my own feet, I headed to the locker room, eyes darting left and right for any glimpse of James.

---