Page 38 of The Upgrade

“What’s it like using a pseudonym for a job like this?” she asks. “I mean, is it strange when a woman screams ‘Topher’ at the peak of climax? Are you looking around to see who else she’s fucking?”

A startled laugh slips out of me. “I’ll have to get back to you on that. It’s only day one.”

Eve blinks in surprise, stirring her drink with the straw. “Given your skills, I assumed you’d have banged six women by dinnertime.”

“You flatter me.” The bartender comes over and I order a Rusty Nail. Eve and I chat while he fixes my drink and she catches me up on the rest of her day.

“I know it’s lame to come to a sex resort and spend two hours reading by the pool, but God, it was blissful.”

“No judgment here,” I say. “You should seize your bliss wherever you find it. Even if that means not shaving your legs for two weeks and lying around in your underwear watching trashy TV and drinking piña coladas.”

She laughs. “I’m sure they’ll want photos of that for the website.”

The bartender hands me my drink and I hold up the glass for a toast. “To your full week of bliss.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Eve clinks my glass as she surveys the space. A soft breeze rolls off the sea, lifting her hair off those flawless bare shoulders. There’s that creamsicle scent, and I wonder if I’ll ever eat one without thinking of Eve.

“They said there might be a slight delay in getting our table ready,” she says.

“Someone’s having sex on it?”

“Close.” She grins. “Apparently, someone signed up for the four-course Italian meal with a foot massage and oral sex dessert.”

“Ah, the Cannelloni Canoodle Cunnilingus Surprise.” One of the cringiest options I saw in the app. “There’s a menu choice you don’t see every day.”

“No kidding.” She crosses her legs and I picture myself spreading Eve’s thighs as she spoons up her crème brulé.

“Is theenchantmenttaking longer than expected?”

Eve grins. “The guest forgot the oral sex part.”

“Uh—”

“I guess she got preoccupied with the wine and food.” She shrugs. “The consort was still under the table from the foot massage, and when he spread her legs, she kicked him in the balls. Upended the whole table.”

“Damn.” I take a sip of my drink. “They didn’t mention that job hazard at orientation.”

“You should probably wear a cup if you get called in for that one.”

“Noted.” I’m loving how freely we can talk about this. “What’s your most embarrassing sex story?”

“No way,” she says, sipping her drink. “You first.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’ll set the tone. I don’t want to share some story about the time a blowjob went wrong, and I wound up with cum leaking out my nose, while you’re over here with some sweet story about catching your parents making love in the garden.”

“Camille told you that one, huh?”

“It scarred her for life.” Eve sips her drink. “And for the record, the cum-out-the-nose story wasn’t mine, but I’m not telling which of your sisters it was.”

“I appreciate that.” I drag the depths of my memory for a worthwhile tale. “My most embarrassing sex story was a year after grad school. I was hooking up with a girl who loved to be spanked.”

“Mmm.” Eve sips her drink with mischief in her eyes. “I’m not big on impact play, but a little light spanking can be fun.”

“This wasn’t light. At least, it wasn’t light when my hand slipped off her ass and whacked me in the nuts.”

“Oh no!” Eve cracks up. “What did I tell you about wearing a cup?”

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