Page 39 of The Upgrade

“Right? That’s not even the worst part.”

“It gets worse?”

“Yep. I wore this stupid ring on my pinkie back then—don’t ask. It wasn’t making much contact with my date’s ass, but with the sideways angle I hit my own nut, I tore my scrotum.”

“Oh, Kit.” Her eyes fill with horror and a little amusement. “That must’ve hurt.”

“Yep. Also bled like hell. Had to hold pressure on it with what turned out to be my date’s favorite T-shirt while she drove me to the ER.”

“Oh, God.” She’s trying so hard not to laugh, but she isn’t succeeding. “Did you need stitches?”

“Nope. Turned out it looked a lot worse than it was, but it hurt like a motherfucker.” I grin. “That was the end of spanking. At least with that girl.”

“God.” Eve shakes her head, still pink-faced with laughter. “I don’t think I can top that, but I’ll give you my best.”

“Lay it on me.”

“Let’s see.” She looks up at the thatched roof to gather her thoughts. “Okay, this guy I dated in college was the outdoorsy hippie type. Ended up building this rustic, lakefront campground with a bunch of cute rental cabins, but before that we used to go camping there.”

“Uh-oh. Does this story involve bears?”

“Not exactly.” She gives me a devilish grin. “The other guy had a beard, so I guess in a way?—”

“There was another guy?”

“Yep.” She grins proudly. “This is one of my threesome stories.”

“Excellent.” I’ve been curious.

“It was fun, I’ll admit.” The spark in her eyes turns me on. “So the three of us are going at it in the tent when my lady-business starts burning. Like,reallyburning—inside and out.”

“Ouch.” That’s no good. “Were you okay?”

“I didn’t think so. Made the guys get dressed and drive me to the hospital, which was more than an hour away. I thought I had some kind of horrible disease. The doctor kept looking at these two men, asking them questions about STIs while I’m sitting there in a hospital gown whimpering and feeling judged.”

“Poor Eve.” Probably didn’t help with her sex shame issues. “Did the doctor figure it out?”

“Yep.” Her smile turns sheepish. “One of the guys mentioned bugs at the campground, thinking maybe there could be some mosquito-borne illness. The doctor stares at him a minute, then says, ‘Did any of you happen to apply bug spray this evening?’”

“Oh shit.”

“Yep.” Laughing, she shakes her head. “Turned out I had a very bad reaction to DEET in my vaginal canal.”

“You poor thing.” As she crosses her legs, my eyes drop to the curve of her calf. Fuck, she’s got great skin. “Does it say something about us that our embarrassing sex stories both ended with trips to the hospital?”

Eve laughs. “We’re both cautious people who take our health seriously? Either that, or we have very poor judgment.”

“Let’s go with the former.”

“Works for me.”

There’s a ripple of laughter at the end of the bar and Eve’s eyes trail to the women. “I like the camaraderie here,” she says. “Women sharing stories about who’s good at what and whichenchantmentsare worth trying.”

“Sounds titillating.” My ego nudges me to wonder what they might say about me. “What are you most looking forward to from your fantasy list?”

“Threesomes for sure.” She grins as she says it, sipping her drink with a salacious spark in her eye.

“Plural?”

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