Page 75 of Dirty Pucking Tease

"Is she okay?" Alex asked, and I nodded. "Did you tell her everything?"

I nodded again. "Yes, and she's confused right now. I suggested we both fill her in on everything, but she's asking for you to give her some time."

"She wants me to leave." His expression turned pained, and his voice dropped to a whisper. I couldn't help but feel bad for him. If it had been me, she didn't remember, I don't know how I would have reacted. "Okay. I'll go, and once she's released, I'll come by the house and check on her."

I stood silently, watching as Alex disappeared down the hall.

Cam rounded the corner with a bag of food I assumed was for Kaia, and that's when it hit me. If anyone could help her remember how she felt, it was Cam. She told Cam everything.

"Hey." Cam smiled. "How's she doing? Is she starving yet?" She held up the bag.

"She's struggling with her memory loss," I said. "She asked me to send Alex away."

"What did you tell her?"

"The truth, Cam. I told her the truth that I knew and that Alex could probably tell her more, but she doesn't remember. So maybe a chat with you will help her."

"You know my truth could end up hurting your chances of ever getting her back, right?"

I nodded. "If this is going to work, she has to know the whole truth."

"Okay. I will talk to her, but you need to go home and come back later." I perked up. I didn't want to leave. "Jax, I'm serious.You've been here for days. You need a real shower and sleep. I'll stay with her and call you anything changes."

On a heavy exhale, I nodded. Cam went into the room, and I headed home.

51

Balling the wrapper in my hands, my eyes closed as I savored the last bite of the best burger I'd ever had. Or at least that's what it felt like in that moment.

"So, have they said when you can skate again?" Cam asked, holding her hand out for my garbage, and I handed her the balled-up wrapper. "I'm sure Petrov will be itching to get you back on the ice." She was right. Petrov would want me back on the ice the minute she knew I was cleared to skate again. Petrov wasn't a bad person, but she lived for the win, and there was no chance of a win if we weren't practicing. The problem was I didn't know if I wanted to do it anymore. Before Mattias died, it was all I wanted. My entire life revolved around skating and winning, but when I lost him, I lost my passion for sport. It suddenly didn't seem as important anymore. "She's been up here a few times to check on you. Your fall shook her up pretty bad."

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked, shifting to meet her gaze. She raised her eyebrows. "Could you let Petrov know that I'm done skating?"

"Kai." Cam's brows pinched as she shifted in her seat. "Don't let this ruin what you love doing. It was an accident an..."

"That's the thing." I shrugged. "I don't love it anymore. I love being on the ice, but when Mattias died, so did my love for professional skating. I only gave it another try for Jax, and I can, without a doubt, say I'm done skating. I want to try something else now."

"Like?"

"Like..." I shrugged. "Maybe going back to school. I've been thinking about getting into sports medicine for a long time. Maybe now's the time."

Cam nodded, a slow smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. "I will tell her as long as you promise to keep skating with me in the mornings."

My lips curled into a grin. "I promise." I didn't want to give up skating. I loved skating. I loved getting up early and swirling around the empty arena before anyone else even got out of bed. It was where I could think clearly.

"So what are you going to do about Jax and Alex?" That was a bigger issue.

My eyes shifted over her shoulder, and I sucked in a deep breath as I shook my head before slowly exhaling. "I don't know." And I didn't know. I was so confused. "I don't remember how I felt about either of them before the accident." My eyes flicked down to her. "But you do. You could tell me."

"I could, but I think we both know that's not going to help." She forced a smile. "It's not going to change the fact that you don't remember or the way you feel right now."

"So what do I do?" My gaze flicked down to my fidgeting hands. "What would you do?"

She laughed. "You are not me, and I do not want to be the bad influence here." She shook her head and waved her finger. "Nope, not me."

I laughed. "Okay, then tell me what you think I should do. You know me better than anyone else in this world."

"Honestly, I don't know, Kai." She sighed. "But I think you'd be cutting yourself short if you didn't explore both of your options or at least give yourself time for your memories to return before making a decision."

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