Page 38 of Taming His Brat

She’d never entirely forgotten it existed, but it was easy not to think about it while it was nestled out of sight at the bottom of a drawer. Maybe now it was time to finally see what he had to say. She still didn’t feel emotionally prepared for it, but then maybe she never would.

She curled up on the bed and stared at the creased and worn envelope. It had sat there for so long, as she’d put off reading her father’s last words. It felt like an ending of sorts. As long as the envelope was sealed and she didn’t read it, then he wasn’t truly gone.

But it was time, past time maybe. She took a deep breath and carefully ripped along the seam. There was another hesitation before she unfolded the papers inside, but just a brief one. She was as ready as she was going to get.

It would be funny, she thought, if after all the buildup and long wait the letter was just some laundry list of details he wanted her to know. Maybe it would just be passwords and pin numbers. She doubted it; it was far too thick. But wouldn’t she feel stupid for putting it off if that’s all it was?

She laughed and unfolded the letter to find four pages covered with her father’s familiar handwriting. But the smile quickly dropped from her face as she began to read.

Hey there, Charlie girl,

If you’re reading this then I guess I’ve ridden off into the sunset and I bet you’re pretty mad at me. I can’t say I blame you. Some of the decisions I made must have seemed unfair to you at the time and looking at it now, I guess they were.

I had my reasons, if it helps any. Probably doesn’t, but maybe this letter will clear everything up. I feel like a man’s last words should be something special, but I’m not the best with things like that, so forgive me if I don’t wax poetical.

These are things I wanted to tell you in person, but I never got the chance. Towards the end I—well, I’m ashamed to admit that by then I was scared. I didn’t want to leave this world with my only daughter hating me. Selfish, I know, but there were a lot of things I never told you.

There was always a reason. You were too young. You were struggling to deal with things. You needed to mature a little more. And then things were so strained between us, and I was dying. It never seemed like a good time, I guess. So, this is my last chance to fill you in on all the things I should have told you.

First off, you need to know that I love you more than anything in this world or the next, kiddo. You’re my pride and joy and I know you are damn capable of anything you put your mind to. My reasons for what I did, well they had nothing to do with not believing in you. I hope you’ll realize that by the end of this.

This is hard so I’m just going to say it. I lied to you about your mom, or at least I didn’t tell you everything and that’s on me. Now that I’m gone, I can’t hide this from you anymore. You need to know because I’m pretty sure you’re going to have to deal with her before long.

I met Vicky in Vegas. My dad was still running things here and I took some time to sow my wild oats, I guess you could say. I knew I’d return to the ranch eventually, but I wanted to see a bit of the world before I settled down. There was a lot of drinking, a lot of gambling, and I was always good at those two things. I made a stack of money.

Looked up from a pile of chips to see this gorgeous creature smiling at me, and next thing I knew we were married. I’m not saying I was too drunk to know what I was doing. There was no surprise waking up to find out I had a wife. Nothing like that.

She was beautiful, clever and fun to be with. I wanted her and it became pretty clear she wanted me. Or so I thought. It was a mistake all around. Vicky wanted the fancy big spender she thought I was when I was riding high at the craps table.

She liked Vegas and I was having a blast, so we got an apartment and lived it up for a while. Neither of us really knew each other well, but we had fun until I got the call that my father had died, and I needed to come home and take over. That’s when I got the first hints that there were going to be problems.

I showed up home with my new wife and let’s just say it didn’t go well. I think she was expecting a rich man hobby ranch, something fancy. She hated this place from the moment she set foot on the property. I think she decided right then she was going to talk me into moving to the city, but I was in love, and when it came to her, I had a blind spot.

By the time I realized that she wasn’t who I thought she was, you were on the way and I was stuck. No regrets on that score though. I wanted you from the moment she told me she was pregnant, Charlie. Whatever I feel about your mother, she did give me you.

I could go into detail of the many schemes she tried, but there were too many to count and I don’t think you need to hear all of that. Once she realized that I was never going to walk away she stopped trying to talk me into selling it off so we could move and started sabotaging things.

She tried to get my best men fired. She turned them against me, spreading rumors that I was closing up and selling everything off. When they started quitting, I didn’t put it together at first. I should have known by the fact that she’d seemed to finally settle down and accept the life. I wanted to think she’d found some contentment in it, or at least in me and you.

She was so good at telling me what I needed to hear. Sometimes she knew what that was even when I didn’t. It’s a gift I’m still in awe of and it allowed her to manipulate me six ways from Sunday. It was uncanny and I’m usually a good judge of character.

I’m ashamed of how long it took me to figure things out and of what happened next. See, I’d given her a bargaining chip. If there was one thing I loved more than the ranch it was my daughter. You. So, she threatened to leave and take you with her.

She said she’d take you somewhere I’d never see you again. Back then courts tended to favor the mother. I thought I’d win but I couldn’t be sure, not really. And Vicky was so good at manipulating people. So good at crying until she got what she wanted.

Charlie set the letter down with shaking hands, unable to go on to the next page yet. Her heart was thudding hard in her chest and she’d gone cold. She didn’t want to continue to read it. Whatever was coming next wasn’t going to be pleasant. She knew that for sure.

It was already pretty bad. She couldn’t help comparing her experiences with Vicky to what her father had dealt with. She always went into a conversation with her mother determined to set firm boundaries. Yet every time she somehow got turned around and ended up agreeing to things she didn’t want.

She could never quite figure out how it happened. As Jimmy had said … it was uncanny. The manipulation, she’d seen that too. And suddenly all those subtle comments about Sam and how he was just a ranch hand made sense. Vicky had been working to undermine her relationship with Sam from the start.

Why hadn’t she seen that? Over and over, she’d dismissed Vicky’s behavior as a mistake, or well-intentioned. “She was just trying to help,” that was what she’d said to Sam.

Distantly she heard shouting, and then a door slamming. She registered it, but she wasn’t able to process any new information at the moment. Her mind was swirling with too many thoughts and emotions. She blinked back tears repeatedly, but finally just let them fall.

She cried for the mother she’d always dreamed of. A woman who apparently had never existed. She cried for the relationship she’d tried so hard to build, tainted now by the truth she found in her father’s letter. There were a few tears just for the stupidity of falling for it again and again, even while Sam had tried to warn her.

Her face was itchy with salt by the time she was done, and she was distracted by the sound of a truck roaring by the house at full speed, scattering gravel. With a dim kind of awareness she thought,that’s Sam.

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