Page 69 of His Cowboy Heart

I hadn’t even noticed that the big animal had moved at some point during my tirade. I put my hand on BJ’s neck for a second, but even that hurt too much, so I walked around him. Before I could pass in front of him, BJ practically headbutted me, though the move didn’t hurt. I was about to lose it all over again because not only did Flynn hate me, but it appeared his horse did too. When I tried to move past BJ again, this time giving the horse a wider berth, he took several steps forward to cut me off, then nudged me with his nose. God, the horse was so fucking loyal to Flynn, he wasn’t going to let me walk away until Flynn ordered him to.

Which Flynn wasn’t doing. He made no effort to reach for his horse. With that, my last shred of dignity disintegrated, and I began to sob. That was when BJ chose to gently press his head against my chest like he’d done to Flynn on countless occasions. I dropped my head so that my forehead was pressed against the top of BJ’s face. I put my hands on his soft muzzle and wept uncontrollably.

When my body was shifted to the side, I wasn’t sure whether it’d been the horse that had done it or me. I got my answer when I felt strong arms wrap around my back and my face was pressed against a warm, hard chest. When Flynn’s hand came to rest on the top of my head, every ounce of strength I had left was gone in a puff of smoke. When my knees buckled, I fully expected him to let me go so that I’d hit the hard floor.

But Flynn was still Flynn, so instead of dropping me, he lowered us both to the floor and then just held me. When I couldn’t catch my breath, he began talking about the wolves we’d spent so much time watching together. I closed my eyes so I could see them for myself. Instead, I saw Flynn. I saw the way he’d held me in the sleeping bag to keep me warm after we’d made love, I heard his voice each time he told me he loved me, and I felt his arms around me, keeping me close. Keeping me safe.

“Flynn…” was all I could manage to say because my throat was so damn raw. Every part of my body hurt. I had no idea why he’d chosen to comfort me instead of watch me suffer, but even if I could have actually spoken the words, I wouldn’t have. I wanted the moment to go on forever. Even if there was only silence between us, I would take it. I would take any piece he’d give me and treasure it for the rest of my life once he was gone.

When Flynn’s hold on me loosened, I got the silent message and pulled away from him. I would have stood if I could, but I knew my legs wouldn’t hold me. I stared at the floor and managed to croak, “There’s a loading dock at the back of the building. It has a ramp, so if you and BJ leave through that door, I don’t think the cops or reporters will bother you.”

Warm fingers forced my chin up, though the last thing I wanted was to have to look Flynn in the eye. I’d thought I could withstand his fury, but I couldn’t. “Please, Flynn,” was all I could get out. Despite Flynn having lifted my chin, I maintained my death stare with the floor.

“Jules, look at me.”

Flynn didn’t shout the order at me, nor was he asking me to comply. He said the words in that special way of his… the one that made me want to do anything to please him.

I forced my eyes to meet his. Before I could even try to read what he was thinking, Flynn dropped his head and brushed his mouth over mine. The kiss was agonizingly short. A good-bye kiss, probably. But Flynn had yet to release my chin and when he ended the kiss, he kept his mouth near mine.

“Do you really think I rode my horse through miles of last-minute holiday shoppers, impatient drivers trying to get home to their families, collecting thousands of dollars’ worth of citations along the way and having a trail of police cars, curious onlookers, and a fucking helicopter hovering above my head just so I could make you hurt as badly as I did?” Flynn gently asked. “Because if that were true, it would have cost a lot less money and wouldn’t have risked freezing my damn balls off to just send you all the cruel texts I spent the last few months writing.”

I was so confused that I didn’t even know how to respond. Not just to his question, but also to ask why he’d comforted me, why he was still holding me, and what the hell that amazing kiss had meant. So I stupidly blurted, “I never got any texts.”

Flynn smiled. His real smile. The one that stole my breath but in a good way.

“That’s because I never sent any of them. I would have had to really believe what I was saying in order to push that send button. I deleted them right after I wrote them.”

“Why?” My head was spinning and even though I could hear Flynn’s voice and feel his touch, it had to be a dream. I had to have been asleep on the couch in my office, my arms wound around the pillow that had become Flynn’s stand-in.

“Why,” Flynn said softly, like he was asking himself the question instead of it coming from my lips. “Because I know what death is. I know what it feels like, at least the beginning of it, anyway. And Jules, my love, my mind might have wanted to survive, but my heart wanted to live and there was only one way that was going to happen.”

Flynn kissed me again.

My love?

Had he really called me that or was I hearing things?

“Thank God I have a smart horse, a body that knows when to ignore my stupid brain, and a heart that knows who carries the other half of it and always will. For life.” His lips traveled up my tear-stained face until his mouth was by my ear. “Don’t you ever just lie down and wait to die, no matter what happens. Do you hear me?” Flynn said, his voice still soft but firm enough to know that he wasn’t asking me—he was telling me. “Even if the worst happens, we’ll live on within each other. But there’s not going to be a ‘worst’ because I’m going to take care of you just like you’re going to take care of me.”

I let out a harsh cry, frantically nodded, and managed to say “for life” before I was seeking out his lips. This time, there was no denying what Flynn’s kiss meant. It was hungry, seeking, desperate. I stroked his cheek as I kissed him back with equal fervor. When we parted, I whispered, “I love you,” against his lips.

“Love you, Jules. So fucking much.” He kissed me again. I wasn’t sure what I’d done to deserve Flynn, but I was done being stupid. Sure, I’d say and probably do stupid things throughout the rest of our lives, but I was never going tobestupid again.

Flynn climbed to his feet, taking me with him. Our mouths frantically dueled for control of the first of many kisses we’d need to have to make up for all the ones we’d missed. As each kiss became more intense, my body began to respond and before I realized what I was doing, I started to push Flynn’s jacket from his shoulders. It took BJ forcing his big head between our bodies to remind us where we were. I hadn’t even heard the roar of applause from outside the lobby doors.

Flynn and I began to laugh as we each rewarded BJ from our respective sides.

“We’re never going to get away from them,” I said.

“Who said we have to? A little press might get me out of needing to pay all these,” Flynn responded as he pulled a wad of small papers out of BJ’s saddlebag.

They were all the citations he’d gotten.

“If not, then these are all yours,” Flynn added as he handed me the citations. I dropped them to the ground.

“I can write them off as a business expense,” I said right before I wrapped my arms around Flynn and kissed him again.

“That’s right. My man has deep pockets,” Flynn murmured between kisses. “I don’t suppose you’ve got enough on you to bribe a fast food joint to stay open long enough for us to grab something to take back to your place?”