Page 53 of Fumbling for Perfection

Jackson’s head snaps up and he stares at me. “How did you know?”

I shrug and finish my beer.

“Fuck. Is it that obvious?” The color drains from Jackson’s tanned face.

“What are you worried about? You’ve already outed yourself.”

“Me, sure. But not him. His firm is run by old school assholes who don’t see all people as equals. I’d marry him in a heartbeat if I didn’t think it would jeopardize his career.”

“But you’d jeopardize Riley’s future?”

Guilt adds a layer of color to his face. “I was securing her future. And we were planning on divorcing in five years.”

I lean back and fold my arms across my chest while I soak in his words. I still don’t know how I feel about what Riley said and didn’t say to me. If what we had was real.

“The one thing I felt the most guilty about was taking away the chance for her to get pregnant and have kids. Do you want a family, Walker?”

I blink in surprise at his question. I’ve never cared about having a family of my own. Not having role models or any support in learning how to raise a kid, I never banked on having a family. Maybe if and when the right woman came along.

Riley’s golden ponytail and wide smile fill my mind. I can feel the softness of her skin, the shape of her curves under my hands, the sound of her laughter, of her moans as I make her come.

“Walker?”

I shift in my seat. “What was that?”

“Kids. Do you want kids?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Probably not. Not right now.”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

I can still taste Riley’s strawberry lip gloss and the chocolate torte on her lips we shared during our date a few nights ago.

“No.”

“Interested in anyone?”

Riley’s laughter rings in my ears. I can feel her kisses on my neck. My cock twitches at the memory of her lips wrapped around it, sucking me to the back of her throat.

“No.”

“Hm. That’s too bad.” Jackson takes out a fifty and slips it under his empty glass. “I should head to the club.”

We’re quiet during the ten-minute drive. When I pull up to the front of the club, Jackson unfastens his belt and reaches for the door, pausing before he opens it.

“My biggest concern about marrying Riley was taking away the chance of her having kids. Not to get into her personal story, but her chances of getting pregnant aren’t great. Divorcing at thirty-five wouldn’t leave her much time to find a guy, fall in love, settle down, get married again, and have a family.”

Why is he telling me this? I feel bad for her if she wants a family and can’t have one. I can’t imagine being a woman and having to live with that worry. Hell, I can’t imagine being a woman and carrying a child for nine months.

“I encouraged her to live her best life right up until the moment I shackled her to me for five years. Even encouraged her to get knocked up if she wanted. I think she found her happiness these past few months. That's why I called off the wedding.” Jackson opens the door and climbs out. He leans in and pierces me with his blue eyes. “Whatever you’re thinking, she didn’t do anything wrong or out of malice. Don’t hurt her. Especially not in her condition.”

He closes the door and walks into the country club. I stare at his back and let his words soak in. Did he just...

Did Jackson just give me his blessing to be with Riley?

And what did he mean byher condition?

He didn’t mean...

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