Page 54 of Fumbling for Perfection

She can’t be...

Well, fuck.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

RILEY

After Kendall and Rowan showed up at our hotel room with my stuff I left at the church, they opened a bottle of champagne and celebrated while they poured me sparkling wine.

Or rather, they celebrated while I drank in confusion. I needed to talk to Jackson, but there was no way in Hell I was going to the country club. I hope to never see anyone in that church again, except our wedding party and Walker.

Walker.

I wanted more time to soak him in wearing a navy suit that molded to his frame with perfection. His gray button down was undone at the collar, and he didn’t sport a tie like every other male in the church.

The look of disgust, anger, and hurt he gave me all day yesterday was too much to bear. I couldn’t handle seeing it on him today, so I avoided his gaze as I made the walk of shame down the aisle.

I couldn’t care less what the three hundred guests thought of me. I only worried about Jackson and his future. If his asshole father would still hold his inheritance from him, and if Walker would reject rekindling their relationship.

I press my forehead against the side window in the backseat, thankful for the quiet Rowan and Kendall are allowing me. After they each enjoyed a glass of champagne, we packed up and headed back to Boston.

I’ve had thirty minutes of peace to wrap my brain around what happens next and am no closer to figuring it out than I was standing at the altar in shock.

“You don’t need to figure anything out today,” Rowan says from the front. She’s always able to read my thoughts. “Once Jackson puts out the fires in Rhode Island, I’m sure he’ll come by and you can sort it all out.”

I don’t see how he can help me with my conversation with Walker. He won’t even look at me. How do I tell him I’m pregnant with his child?

“And if you need help financially, I have investments I can cash out.”

“I could never ask that of you, Kendall.”

“Good thing you didn’t ask.”

“Well, I could never take your money.” It’s not like she’s independently wealthy, either. A teacher’s salary is barely enough to get by, and she recently moved back in with her mom to help care for her sister.

“I can—”

“Absolutely not,” I cut off Rowan. “You’re still paying off college loans. And even if you weren’t, it was hard enough for me to accept financial support from Jackson, who has billions to spare.”

“You know he’ll still hold true to his agreement. He’s the one who called off the wedding. It’s nothing to be ashamed of if you accept his financial offer.” Kendall turns into the parking lot behind my building.

Rowan turns in her seat. “Or you could come up with a payment plan. Accept a loan and pay it back when you can. I doubt he’ll charge you interest.”

“I appreciate the pep talk, guys, but my financial issues are actually the last thing on my mind.”

“We know. But we figured it was an easier topic to discuss than the other.” Rowan’s eyes lower to my stomach.

“I love you both, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me more than you can possibly imagine, but I need some alone time now.”

We exit the car and they engulf me in a group hug. “I’ll call you guys tomorrow.”

As soon as I’m in my apartment, I strip out of my jeans and sweater and run a bath. My tub is small and basic, but I don’t have the energy to stand under a shower.

While the tub fills, I pull dozens of pins out of my hair and wash the remnants of my makeup off. When the bubbles threaten to spill over the edge of the tub, I sink into the water and rest my head against the aging tiled walls and cry.

I cry harder because I don’t even know why I’m crying. Jackson sacrificed so much by letting me out of our marriage. He promised me last night that he’d figure out a way to fix all of this, but I don’t feel any better.

I’ve still betrayed a man I care deeply for. I’m still pregnant. I’m still alone.

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