Page 45 of The Secret Of Us

The others come over to the side, and Josh is the only one to acknowledge me with a quick wave at us before he leaves. I’m still invisible to the others and a sigh escapes me before I can stop it. Izzy stares at me, her head tilted to one side and a crease between her brows. I swallow, my throat suddenly dry, because of this girl who seems to see right through me. It’s scary.

I’ve been trying my best to mask my feelings. I don’t want to show how much the words and actions of everyone else are actually getting to me because I don’t want pity from anyone, especially not from her.

But maybe she’s been seeing past it the whole time because the mask only drops for a second before she says, “Let’s get out of here.”

I can only nod, afraid that if I speak, I’ll say too much. I walk back to where I dropped my bottle, and Izzy stays by my side as I take another drink from it. The water spurts out of my mouth when my shoulder gets knocked forward.

Ryan walks past us, looking back as he fakes a shocked expression.

“Sorry, man. Didn’t see you there.”

His eyes move to Izzy for a second too long, and I take a step forward without even thinking about it. He lets out a huff of laughter as he turns, shaking his head as he walks away with his group of mindless friends.

“Has he been doing that a lot to you?” she asks, moving to stand in front of me.

“First time, actually.” I don’t want to mention what happened on the first practice when he completely blindsided me. “Guess he’s not too happy about us.”

I try to make a joke out of it, but Izzy’s expression is serious, her jaw clenched slightly.

“Tell me if he does it again. Or you can tell Luke, if you don’t want to say it to me. He can’t get away with treating you like that.”

“It’s okay, really,” I reassure her. “It just shows how convincing we are if he’s that upset.”

Izzy doesn’t seem happy with that answer, but I don’t want her to worry. He didn’t say anything to her, and I’ll happily take the brunt of it if it means he leaves her alone.

“Come on, let’s go,” I say, now that everyone has left.

She moves to my side, and we start walking back to the dorm buildings, a comfortable silence between us. It’s easy being with Izzy like this. She’s a talkative person, but she never forces me to speak. I’ve noticed recently that she’ll wait for me to start the conversation first, and I appreciate that a lot.

Our arms swing at our sides, hands grazing and it’s like we both remember at the exact same time that we’re meant to be dating because our fingers intertwine without either of us saying a word. Never mind that I haven’t seen a single other person on our walk so far.

A calming feeling washes over me whenever she holds my hands. It’s like I’m being tethered to the ground when I usually get in my head and feel like I’m floating away. Whenever she takes my hand, it feels like she actually wants me to stay by her side.

“Can I ask you a question?” she says quietly, and the gentle tone of her voice makes me think it’s going to be something I don’t want to answer.

“Of course.”

“First, I want you to know I don’t believe what everyone says about you. I think they’re all miserable people who are bored with their own lives and have to make stuff up about others just to feel better about themselves.”

I can’t help but laugh. She’s so straightforward with what she says, and it’s refreshing. Most people would find a more subtle way to say something like that, but Izzy doesn’t seem to care.

“I’ve just been wondering why you transferred,” she starts, her voice quiet. “I mean, it’s the last year of school, and I’m sure you were already settled at your old one, so why move?”

I knew she must have been curious about it, just like everyone else, so I’ve been waiting for her to ask. But I hoped it would happen later, maybe when she actually likes me more and can understand why I had to do what I did.

I don’t want her to get the wrong idea about me. I like that we’re becoming friends. I don’t want to ruin that. I want this calmness and safety for a bit longer, for as long as she allows me to have it. I don’t want her to think the worst of me like everyone else does. Not just yet.

“I…” My hand suddenly feels like it doesn’t belong in hers. I try to let her fingers go, but her grip tightens instead. “It’s a lot to explain. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it yet.”

I see her nod in my peripheral, and I can feel the weight of her gaze on the side of my face. I swallow hard, focusing straight ahead because I’m worried I’ll give in and reveal everything if I look at her right now. Izzy doesn’t say anything, and I know I’ve messed this whole thing up.

“I understand if you want to stop doing this now,” I say quietly.

“I don’t want to stop,” she says, a hint of some emotion in her voice that I can’t quite figure out. “And you don’t have to tell me until you want to. You never have to tell me, actually. I shouldn’t have even asked in the first place.”

That’s what finally makes me look at her. I don’t want her to think she did anything wrong. I walk ahead of her, stopping us as I face her. Her lips are curved downward, her brows furrowed, and I have to look away. I stare down at our joined hands instead.

“No, I like that you asked. No one else has. They’ve all just made up their own stories.”

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