Page 135 of Brace and Chase

“What thought?” I ask softly.

“That Max is going to find out I’m not straight.” The sharp change of subject almost gives me whiplash, but I go with it.

“Ah.” There’s not a chance of falling asleep now. Not until I can help him lose that pained look in his eyes. Hestays silent for a long time, so I take my chances. “Do you think he’d have a problem with that?”

“I don’t know,” he whispers. “I’d like to think he wouldn’t, but I haven’t seen him in seven years.” Then he lets out a big sigh and rolls over to face me. “Beau told me about the day after your father’s funeral.”

“What?” I spring up. “When?”

“When they were here. I apologized for calling Finn stupid, explained that I meant it as a joke, and we started talking about brothers. And about forgiveness. It just came up.”

“Huh,” is all I can say.

“I was . . . surprised, to say the least.”

“That I was such a shithead when I was fourteen?” I ask.

“No, that something so similar had happened in your life. And that your brothers knew so much more about being good brothers when they were little than what I know now. I was also surprised that they’re the same age as Max. And we’re the same age. It’s weird.”

“Nik,” I whisper, lying back down. He shakes his head and closes his eyes tightly, and I know I need to point something out to him. Something that I think will hurt him more before it gets better.

“Even before that weekend, when I first read the texts from him, your reaction to the messages was never to get angry.” He opens his eyes, sharp focus in them. “You looked guilty.” I let that sink in before I go on. “It’s the main reasonwhy I thought you’d banged this person named Max. Because you looked guilty.”

He winces at that, and yeah, I get the disgust. I chuckle, though, and take the moment of levity gratefully, because then he crumbles right before my eyes.

“I left him alone. Just like he did to me. For fucking years. He was just nineteen, still a fucking kid as far as I’m concerned, and all I’ve donefor yearsis send money so he would at least keep getting his education. But I left him alone.”

Like he’s done to me so many times, I wrap my arms around him and bring him close, squeeze him as tight as I can.

“But you can make it better, Nik. All you have to do is call. When you’re ready,” I murmur against his head. “When you’re ready and not a day before. It’s never too late.”

I walk downthe hallway to the elevator at the end like a man walking to the guillotine.

“It’s going to be fine,” Nik says, back to acting like his normal self after the emotional roller coaster we went on at home. We only caught one hour of sleep, but when he woke up, he was as cheery as ever.

“Easy for you to say,” I mumble, not hiding my resentment forone second.

“I’m going to get on the bike and warm up.”

I turn to him after hitting the button to call the elevator that will take me to the top floor where all the offices for upper management are.

“I really hate you sometimes,” I deadpan.

He kisses me quickly, then steps back with a shit-eating grin.

“No. You don’t.” Then he spins around and walks away.

I sigh, turning back when the ding signaling the elevator’s arrival sounds.

“No, I really don’t,” I whisper to myself.

There’s no point in delaying the inevitable, so I just knock on the frosted glass door.

“Come in,” she calls out, and I do. “Charlie,” she greets me with a smile. “How are you?”

“Well, I’ve been better,” I admit and sit in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

“Why?” she asks, eyes narrowed.

---