Page 137 of Between Hate and Desire

With summer break officially over, today is her first day of school, and I know she’s nervous. She didn’t tell her co-workers she was pregnant, but at five months pregnant, she won’t be able to hide it anymore.

Things have slowly gone back to our normal after the night I blurted my true feelings and we shared one last kiss. We thought it was best not to sleep in the same bed, and honestly, I’m not sure I could handle it now that she knows how I’ve always felt. Kissing her—for real—was the most intense thing I’ve ever experienced, and then it was gone. I knew the second she pulled away she was going to say those words.

I’d been fooling myself to think she’d be able to see me as anything more than a friend. Even if she claims she felt the chemistry that first night we met, too much has happened, and it doesn’t matter now. She’s carrying Brandon’s baby, and now that she knows I can’t have kids, why the hell would she even consider being with someone who can’t give her the family she wants? My dad’s words of being a failure repeat in my head, and it brings me right back to the dark place I’ve tried so hard to stay away from.

Guilt. Anger. Insecurity.

Lennon’s truly the only reason I’ve been sane these past four months since Brandon’s death. Even if I wish things had happened differently between us, I can’t let her go. I’ll take her in my life in any way she’ll allow.

“Lennon,” I whisper, brushing her hair off her face.

“Mmm?” she mutters, stirring lightly.

“I made you breakfast,” I tell her softly.

“Sleep,” she mumbles, pulling the covers to her chest. “More sleep.”

Chuckling, I look at her sleepy face and smile. “Not today, sweetheart. Back to work,” I remind her.

Her eyes pop open, scaring the shit out of me. Lennon looks around, and it’s as if she’s just now remembering it’s the day.

“I forgot what getting up early felt like.” She groans, finally sitting up. “Though I have a feeling I’m about to be reminded very soon,” she says, looking at her stomach, then pulling her shirt down. “No way to hide it.”

Furrowing my brows, I hold out my hand and help her to her feet. “Shouldn’t hide it anyway. You’re not the first teacher to get pregnant,” I reassure her.

“It’s not that.” She shrugs. “It’s the pity looks that’ll return.”

Grabbing her hands, I envelop them between my palms and hold them against my chest. Lennon looks up at me, waiting.

“Ignore the comments and the looks and remember how far you’ve come. Brandon is so proud of you,” I tell her sincerely. “So am I.”

A tear slips down her cheek, but she doesn’t move to catch it. It falls to her mouth, and she licks it from her lips. I study her, watching her, wanting her to know how amazing she is.

How special she is to me.

“Thanks, Hunter. I appreciate that.” I release her hands, and she snakes her arms around my waist. “You always know what to say to make me feel better.”

I wrap an arm around her, then kiss her forehead. “Haven’t you figured out by now that I’m a very philosophical person?” I tease with a smile.

Lennon laughs and leans back, putting space between us. “You’re something else, Manning. That I know for a fact.”

Before I can ask her what that means, she grabs her phone and walks toward the kitchen. “Is that bacon I smell?”

“Sure is,” I confirm, and my smirk deepens when her face lights up.

We each make a plate of eggs, toast, and, of course, bacon. My favorite morning routine includes us having breakfast together, so now that she’s back to work for the school year, I’m glad we’ll get to do it again.

Just as I’m about to get up and rinse my plate, Lennon stands and comes toward me. “I need to post on Instagram today for the first day back!”

She sits on my lap and wraps an arm around my shoulders, bringing our faces together. “We need to look sad.”

I snort, furrowing my brows. “What? Why?”

Her shoulders slouch. “Because I’m going back to work, and we won’t get to spend as much time together.”

Fuck, that is sad and sucks if she’s being real.

Lennon holds out her phone, clicks on the camera, and gives me a two-second warning. She pouts with her lower lip sticking out, and I do the same before she takes the shot.

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