Page 104 of Rat

“Come here,” Sebastian breathed.

Sebastian pulled him into a hug. Rory shoved his face into his neck, clutched on, and took a deep breath. Sebastian was warm under his hands, his heart was thumping hard in his chest, and Rory could hear him breathing, his soft voice repeating Rory’s name. He clutched Sebastian, and Sebastian held him back harder.

“It’s going to be okay.”

“It’s not,” Rory murmured.

Sebastian brushed his thumb against the nape of Rory’s neck. His eyes drifted shut at the sensation, then they snapped open. He didn’t deserve to feel nice; he didn’t deserve to be comforted, especially by this man, this man he was betraying.

He went from grabbing Sebastian to pushing him away, but Sebastian didn’t let go.

“Hey,” Sebastian mumbled. “Don’t…”

“Let me go.” Rory struggled. He managed to get a hand between them and shoved Sebastian’s chest.

“No,” Sebastian said firmly. “You’re staying right where you are. That’s where you want to be and that’s where I want you to be, so give it up.”

Rory sunk back against Sebastian’s chest and pressed his face so securely to Sebastian’s neck it hurt his nose. He didn’t care. He cried and only stopped when he felt wetness on his chest. His tears, and whatever else, had run down Sebastian’s front.

He shuddered. “Sorry…”

“It’s fine.”

Sebastian pulled Rory over to his bed. “Sit down.”

Rory did as he was told and shuffled back until he was against the wall. Sebastian offered him some tissue, and he wiped his eyes and nose.

“Thanks.”

Sebastian sat next to him, then pulled the sheet over their laps.

“Want to talk about it?”

Rory shook his head. “Not really.”

“That’s okay, we can sit for a bit.”

Rory closed his eyes when he felt Sebastian’s arm snake around his neck and tug him close. He couldn’t help himself; he leaned into the comfort offered to him. His puffy cheek came to rest against Sebastian’s chest.

“I’m on my own,” he said softly.

“No.” Sebastian squeezed. “You’ve got me.”

“Only for a week.”

Sebastian sighed. “Ollie told me you knew the girl in the article.”

Rory nodded. A sob threatened to choke him. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry you found out like that.”

“I should’ve known. I feel shit that I didn’t know.”

“If no one told you, how could you have possibly known?”

Rory shook his head, then tapped his chest, the place where he had a vast emptiness instead of a heart. “I mean, I should’ve known. I should’ve felt something, knew something was wrong.”

“You don’t have some sixth sense.”

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