Page 61 of King

He snorts. But my direct confrontation has made him uncomfortable.

“Zina, not now.” Giovanni says, brushing his hand over my thigh beneath the table.

I shove his hand away. “Not now. Not ever. I am expected to just sit here and let people treat me however they want? With you being the biggest confusion in my life. IF there was at least one person who didn’t treat me with this hot and cold attitude, I thought I would be you.” I snap at Giovanni.

Standing up I shoot another look at Santino. “It takestwopeople, not one.” I say in anger.

Santino shakes his head. “I’m angry with my father as well, don’t think you’re special.”

“Oh don’t worry. I know I’m nothing special in this place.”

My last words are directed at Giovanni again. He makes me feel like nothing more than someone to entertain him - but only when he needs it. In the quiet, dark hours of the night.

I storm from the breakfast table, marching up the stairs two at a time, wanting the privacy of my own bedroom, not his.

Giovanni follow me, he’s right behind me as I walk into my room.

“Why did you make a scene at breakfast?” He asks, heated.

“I’m sick and tired of this, Giovanni. I’m tired of being chosen at night and discarded in the morning. I’m tired of you not knowing how you feel about me. It’s not fair - it’s not fair that you get to choose ifyouwant to trustme.And all the while I’m losing faith in you. I’ve loved you since the day we first kissed. I never stopped. I never pushed you away and after all these years I came back - willing and wanting to try again.”

I pause to catch my breath. He doesn’t say a word.

“I came back - and you’re still playing the same game. Pulling me in with your lies, pushing me away with your actions. I’m not a toy. Make up your damn mind and stop treating my like I’m your play thing in private and nothing but an annoyance in front of other people.”

Giovanni takes a step away from me, his head hanging in defeat. He looks exhausted.

Looking up at me he pushes his fingers through his hair, brushing it out of his face. “I don’t know what to say.” He sighs.

“What?” I snap in disbelief. “Say you want me.”

“Zina - “

“No. Don’t you dare walk away. Tell me you want me. Tell me I’m worth fighting for. Can’t you see how much I’m fighting for you?”

“It’s not that simple.” He argues.

“Why? Because you think I’m some kind of threat to your family?” I blurt out.

He doesn’t answer - which means the answer is yes.

I reach out and grab the front of his shirt. “I’m your family.” I shout. “I’m a part of your family. I am the mother of your child. I live here with you -I am your family, Giovanni.”

He steps away from me again. This time I don’t argue. I don’t fight him.

I’ve tried and I’ve said what I needed to say.

He has to choose now.

Giovanni walks away from me and my heart shatters in my chest. I press my hand over my ribs to try to push away the pain, but it’s deep inside me.

Tears spill down my cheeks.

I wish I knew what he was thinking or what he was feeling. I wish I knew how he saw me.

That night, still miserable about everything, I decide I can’t let this happen. I have to solve the riddle and prove to Giovanni that I am not the enemy. If that is the only way that I can convince him to love me - I will do whatever it takes.

I can’t be without him.

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