Page 123 of Sweet Harmony

He looked awayfrom her, the bile churning in his guts, the air like soup as hetried to drag it into his lungs. “I’m not. I won’t saddle you withmy fucked-up life. We’re done. Please leave.”

“Connor, youdon’t mean that.”

“I do.”

“You asshole,”she said. “You think that by driving me away you’re doing the rightthing, thenoblething, but you’re not. You’re just being adamn coward. Do you hear me, Connor MacMillan? You’re acoward!”

She stood andstomped out of the living room. The door slammed and he pressed theback of his head into the couch, staring up at the ceiling asdepression descended over him like a heavy shroud.

* * *

“Jesus, youlook like hell.” Lucas unwrapped the garbage bag from Connor’s castand tossed it in the garbage. “I thought getting your ass into theshower would help, but nope. Still looks like you’ve beenmarinating in a pile of shit for a few days.”

“Thanks,”Connor said. His hand was aching, and he rubbed his arm above thecast. “You know, I asked you to come by this weekend to help me,not insult me.”

“You have aperfectly lovely girlfriend who could be helping you and I’m prettysure she would have kept the insults to a minimum,” Lucas said.“Why don’t I give her a call and ask her to come by.”

“Give it arest,” Connor said wearily. “I told you, Kira and I are over.”

Lucas stirredthe soup in the pot on the stove. He tasted it and added some moresalt before stirring it again. “Tell me again why you did thestupidest thing in the world and broke up with Kira? I love hearinghow you’re a goddamn idiot. Truly. It warms my cold, blackheart.”

“I’m glad thisis all a joke to you,” Connor said.

Lucas sat downacross from him. “It’s not a fucking joke to me, Connor. I hateseeing you this way, but also… you need to grow a fucking pair. Youpush Kira away, a lovely girl who for whatever reason thinks you’reamazing, just because that bitch Lisa convinced you that you ruinedher life.”

“I did.”

“You didn’t,”Lucas snapped. “Listen, your parents and Lisa did a real fuckingnumber on you and truthfully, I kind of hate them for it. Youdidn’t ruin anyone’s life, including your own, and you have got tostop being such a sad sack of shit and move the fuck on.”

“Your pep talksare the fucking worst,” Connor said.

“Yeah, I know.”Lucas stood and returned to the stove to stir the soup again. “Butyou need someone to hit you with the truth hammer. Was punchingthat smarmy firefighter in the face a stupid idea? Yeah, maybe, butit happened and now you have to deal with it. Maybe you’ve fuckedyour hand, and maybe you haven’t, but either way, you gotta man thefuck up and live with your actions. Call Kira, tell her you’re anidiot, and ask for her forgiveness. You need her, Connor. She’s thebest damn thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“What do I haveto offer her?” Connor said. “I make mistake after mistake aftermistake. I’ve most likely ended my career. I’m a disappointment tomy parents, hell, an entire fuckingtown, and I suck atrelationships. How many times did Lisa call me cold? How many timesdid she beg me to open up to her, and I never would? I’m not meantto be with someone, Lucas.”

“Oh, boofucking hoo,” Lucas said. “You think you’re the only one withbaggage? Everyone has it. The trick is finding the right person whocan put up with your particular baggage. Maybe that’s Kira or maybeit isn’t, but you won’t know if you don’t give this thing a fuckingchance.”

“She called mea coward.”

“You’re not butyou sure as hell are acting like one,” Lucas said. “So, you’re notgood at expressing your feelings, that doesn’t mean you’re notworthy of a relationship. Maybe you didn’t open up to Lisa becauseyou knew deep down that she was a stone-cold bitch. Christ, dude,get over yourself. This emo shit you got going on is not a goodlook for you.”

“Again – yourpep talks are the worst,” Connor said.

“Call Kira andapologize,” Lucas said. “Ask her for a second chance.”

“It’s too latefor apologies.” He stood and headed for the doorway.

“Where are yougoing? It’s almost lunch.” Lucas said.

“I’m nothungry. I’m gonna lie down for a while.”

* * *

Grace staredworriedly at Kira. The last time she’d seen her best friend lookingso pale and sad was in the weeks after her parents died. Feartrickled into her belly and she leaned forward and took Kira’shand. “Honey? You’re taking your meds, right?”

Kira sighed andstared out the living room window. “I am. Stop worrying, Gracie.I’m not depressed, I’m just… sad and angry and… I miss him.”

“I know,honey.”

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