Page 14 of A Deceitful Pact

Everyone except for Sawyer.

I avoid looking at the picture I have of Mom and Dad on the wall as I take a seat at my desk and open up my laptop. The day we buried them, I promised to look after Sasha, and somewhere between then and now, I really messed up. When I moved here, I decided not to unpack the picture of myself and Jack on the day we got engaged. I’m not entirely sure why, but I feel guilty every time I think about it. Jack deserves better than a box at the bottom of the spare room wardrobe, he should be up on the wall beside my parents.

I shake the thought of him, and them, out of my mind and open up my banking app. Staring at the screen, I wonder if this will finally be the lesson it takes to get my sister to learn. Though, even if she does it won’t change the fact that I’m the one who’s paid the price for her. I’m giving up my future, all because she couldn’t control herself. Was she really stupid enough to believe those men were just being generous? Or was she thinking that good old RiRi would bail her out in the end like she always does? I type in the bank details and go through all the extra security clearances so I can send the money directly to whoever this Giovanni guy is, and once it’s gone and I see my savings account sitting at a measly 2,360 dollars, I allow myself to cry some more.

I’ve known since the day I turned eighteen that the world wasn’t fair. I was the one who found my parents' bodies after I came home from partying with my friends. After that, I had to grow up real fast and be there for Sasha. She was only fourteen at the time, and there was no way I was letting child services take her away. It wasn’t easy, especially while I was training to get into the force, but I coped and I parented her the best I could. This time, I wanted the chance to be a mom on my own terms, and it’s looking like it isn’t on the cards anymore.

I need a distraction from the misery that’s my life, so I pull back the cloth that’s covering the hamper to see what Jean put together. Now I’m understanding why the thing was so heavy. I’m never gonna eat all that Jean’s crammed inside it by myself.

The sad truth is, most of what's in here will go to waste, and suddenly that makes me feel very fucking lonely.

I look around my nice little home, and wonder why I bothered trying to make it so inviting. The only house guest I’ve had here is Sawyer on that night he made me his proposition.

I can’t blame anyone other than myself for the fact I don’t get any visitors; the people here have been plenty friendly enough, they’ve tried to make me feel welcome. The only person to blame is me. I’m cold and detached, I don’t let people get close to me. Before I came here, I was proud of that; it felt like a shield of protection, but now it feels like a curse.

I reach for my cell and text Sasha, telling her the money is on its way, then as I scroll through my very limited selection of contacts to find Kathy from the bureau’s number, I stop when I get to Isabel Kelley’s name.

She gave me her number the second day I got here when she invited me over for dinner. She’s bright and always seems so friendly when I bump into her around town. I don’t know if she’s just doing her duty as the mayor’s wife, or if she’s wary of the fact that I know stuff about her husband that I shouldn’t. Maybe she’s playing the whole ‘friends close, enemies closer’ game. But my instinct tells me that her warmth is genuine.

I’ve seen her look sad when she thinks no one is watching, and I sense she’s hiding secrets behind her eyes, too. It makes me wonder if maybe we could be friends.

I decide that now is a good opportunity to put that to the test. I could easily sit here and feel sorry for myself for the rest of the day, or I can start trying to make some changes.

I start by sending Isabel a text, inviting her over to help me eat all the cakes I won from the church raffle. I also tell her she’s welcome to bring her friend Maddison, who happens to be very pregnant with Jace Sullivan's baby. The Sullivans hate the Gendrys, and I’m wondering if I can learn from her why that is. At least that's what I can tell myself if my attempt to make friends turns out to be a disaster.

I smile to myself when Isabel immediately messages back to tell me they will be over in an hour, then, grabbing some plates from the cupboard, I get to work laying the cakes out on the coffee table ready for them to arrive. I’m almost done emptying the hamper when I see a folded-up piece of paper lingering at the bottom of it, and when I unfold it and manage to decipher the scruffy handwriting, I can’t help but laugh at what I read.

DONOR 101

Brown hair

Blue eyes, you can lose yourself in

6ft 2 inches (without boots)

Hobbies include: working out, drinking shit whiskey, and making hot-ass sheriffs come on my tongue.

Don’t travel far and can’t cook, but can make even sad people smile.

Not a psychopath.

Definitelynot ugly.

Also holds the Clearwater Creek record for most volunteer rescues…Yes, I’m a real-life hero.

I fold the paper up so I can put it in the pocket of my jeans. I have no idea why Sawyer is so keen to do this for me. I barely know the guy, and it seems like such a selfless act. It also seems as if it’s my only option. I have no savings anymore, and the thought of saying yes to him puts that warm feeling inside me again. It’s strange, almost as if my body and the universe are yearning for me to say yes. Even my logical inner voice is telling me I should call him.

SAWYER

“What’s that?” Riley answers the door and looks at the bottle of wine I’m holding like she ain’t ever seen one before.

“Darlin’, I wasn’t raised by wolves. I know that when a woman invites a guy round to her house, the polite thing to do is show up with wine.” I step inside and hand it over to her.

“Sawyer, this isn’t a date. I invited you over so we could have a serious conversation.” She’s looking nervous, and hot-as-fuckin’-sin in those tight jeans she had on earlier and an oversized, light pink sweater.

“So, I take it that you found my profile sheet and decided I was your best option.” I stretch my arms out in front of me confidently before spreading myself out on her couch. The place looks much cozier than it did the last time I was here. It seems to me that Riley Hale really is looking to settle down here in Clearwater Creek.

“I got it.” She rolls her eyes like she thinks I'm pathetic, and I decide to humor her as I place my feet up on her coffee table and lean back.

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