“Please, make yourself at home.” She shakes her head sarcastically as she climbs over my legs to take the seat beside me, placing the two wine glasses she picked out from the cupboard and a corkscrew on the table by my feet.
“I heard you had Maddison and Isabel over earlier.” I sit up after she swats my feet down, then, taking the bottle from the table, I set to work opening it.
Ever since that night Riley told me she wanted to have a baby, all I’ve been able to think about is giving her one. I want to see her getting all big and round like Maddison, and I already know there’s no way I could stand to see Riley carrying a child that belongs to any other man than me.
“I was never gonna eat all that cake by myself,” she tells me as I pour her and myself a glass and pass it over to her.
“It’s good to hear of you making the effort, I’m sure Jean will put it in her next newsletter.” I clink my glass against hers before taking a sip.
“Sawyer, you know I didn’t call you over to talk about my social interactions.” She takes a long drink of her wine before placing it down with a shaky hand.
“Riley Hale, are you nervous?” I look at her suspiciously.
“Of course, I’m nervous. I’m making a huge decision about my future,” she snaps back at me, and when I go to take her hand, she snatches it away.
“Do you know how serious all this is? It’s not a joke or a game.”
“I know, and I’ve thought about it real hard, Riley. I want to do this.”
“But why?” She stares at me with eyes full of doubt and confusion.
“Because...” I shift a little closer to her. “...I get the sense that not many people in this world have been good to you. I wanna change that.” There's no lies in the words I’m telling her now, and maybe I'm being deceptive in the promises I’m about to make to her, but that's only because I’m desperate. Riley is stubborn and determined; she’s gonna make herself a momma one way or another, and I have to ensure that when she does, the baby she has is mine. My hand moves up to stroke her cheek, and just for a fraction of a second, she leans into it.
“All this has to stop.” She quickly stands up and moves to the other side of the table. “If we’re gonna do this, we have to be clear about whatthisis.” She stops to take a breath. “I’m doing this by myself, it’smybaby. Once I’m pregnant, your role in all this is over, and I know that sounds cold and harsh, but it’s how things have to be.” She studies me for a reaction. “Do you understand that because it’s vital that you do? We can’t go into this with you thinking it could be any other way.”
“I get it, but I’ll be honest, I don’t understand it. You're beautiful, you’re smart, and so fuckin’ strong. Why do I get the feeling that you’re scared to let someone love you?” I narrow my eyes at her.
“Sawyer, you're so off the mark. I don’t have to give you my reasons; what's important is that I make everything clear. You are no different from any of the men who were on those profiles. You are a donor, and that is all. I’m grateful for your offer. In fact, I’m a little overwhelmed by it, but if you can’t agree to my terms, this ends right here.”
I wanna stand up and shake the truth out of her, but I also want to fuck my baby into her so I have to put all my questions to one side and convince her that I’m okay with what she wants.
“I agree to your terms,” I tell her.
“You haven’t even heard them yet.” She throws her arms in the air as if she needs the Lord’s help, before taking another huge gulp of wine.
“I’m sorry, I’ve just never been one for technicalities.” I shrug.
“This is important, there can’t be any grey areas or blurred lines, can youpleasejust take this seriously?” she begs, having no idea just how fuckin’ serious I am. Time has only made me more certain of what I want, and I want to be the man who makes this woman happy. I wanna own all her smiles and that cold, black heart of hers. I’ve never heard Riley laugh for anyone the way she does for me, and surely that has to stand for something.
This woman doesn’t think she’s lovable, and I’m gonna show her that she’s wrong.
“Come on, let's hear ‘em.” I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees.
“Don’t you wanna write them down so you don’t forget?” She stares at me curiously.
“I’ve got a good memory.”
“I will, of course, have a lawyer write up something for us both to sign. The clinic had a contract we could use as a guideline.” She places down her glass and pours herself more wine.
“Sure.” I look up at her and nod.
“How are you so calm about this?” She shakes her head at me.
“Because I’ve been waiting three months for you to say yes to me,” I answer her honestly, and just when I start to fear that I’ve given too much of myself away, she smiles and sinks down onto the couch beside me.
“First rule, and the most important of them all, is that you don’t fall in love with me. It won’t be reciprocated?—”
“Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart.” She looks embarrassed when I laugh at her. “I’ve spent twenty-eight years on this plant and not fallen once.” I offer her some reassurance, though it feels like the first false promise I’m gonna have to commit to tonight.