Page 49 of Butterfly

She shook this off, continuing. “You drugged me last night.You. Anything I said, I wasn’t in my right mind.”

I approached her, pulling her into my arms. She resisted, but I didn’t let her, tightening my hold on her until her tears wet my shirt. “The Vixen made you out of your mind with lust, but I think you can admit it didn’t make you say anything. You called me Daddy in the stacks, remember?”

She bit me in retaliation. I laughed. I loved her fire.

But I needed her to admit to the truth, so I leaned back, lifting her chin so she had to look me in the eyes. The tears made hers sparkle, and all I wanted was to kiss her.

Focus, Mason.

“I know you’re ashamed of what happened, so you’re trying to backtrack. And you aren’t to blame for this—I accept responsibility. But you’re also ashamed because we’restepsiblings, and that shouldn’t stop you. Let yourself want what you want without so much internal judgment. We’ll both be happier.”

She shoved me away.

“Leave.Please,” she begged. “I need to think.”

Sighing, I released her. Hovering would just make her want to push me away more. I needed to retreat and restrategize. My absence would make her miss me, force her to come to me. It was the right next step, even though I hated everything about it.

I turned toward the door, stopping to say, “It’s too late to turn back from this, butterfly. I told you last night, no take backs. You want irrevocable? This became irrevocable the moment I saw you dancing at our parents’ wedding.”

I left her staring at me, eyes round and wet. It took everything in me not to turn back, pull her into my arms, and never let her go.

18

LESLIE

Iwas a mess. More than usual, even.

It had been a week since I’d seen Mason, and even though I was pissed at him, I couldn’t stop dreaming about the fucking asshole. Couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d felt inside me, urging me toward bliss I couldn’t have imagined. I hated him, but I wanted that feeling back, and I couldn’t get there with my own hand.

It was more than the sex. I’d played theMulansoundtrack over and over, like it would bring back that feeling of safety and joy I’d had when he’d hummed “A Girl Worth Fighting For” to me in his low, husky baritone.

It didn’t. He’d ruined Disney for me.

My phone taunted me every night. I’d open the text message between us, only to close it and throw my phone across my bed as if it had burned me. I’d expected him to text me, or find me, or something, but it was like he’d actually listened when I’d told him to stay away.

And I missed the stupid fucker.

Maybe he had lied. Maybe I didn’t matter to him at all. And wasn’t that a mind-fuck, realizing that I wanted to matter to him, after everything he’d done?

I kept trying to tell myself it was for the best. There was no way I could have a relationship with someone so cruel. And I couldn’t be with my stepbrother, it would kill my mother, his father, and we’d never be able to show our faces at home. It was too embarrassing, shameful even.

So then why did I want it so badly? I lay awake at night in bed, thinking of the way he’d felt, around me, inside me, on top of me, and I wanted him back. I tried to get off, but all I could see was him, and it was like now that my pussy had had the real thing, she didn’t want my hand as a consolation prize.

I wanted Mason. But I couldn’t have him, or be with him, and it was pretty obvious that even though he was pissed at me, he was fine with moving on and going back to torturing me.

I was not looking forward to class this morning, either, knowing he’d be there, but maybe it would be okay if he sat somewhere else and ignored me.

I stumbled my way into the bathroom, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I didn’t even have time for a shower, and I hoped my hair wouldn’t look too awful if I pulled it into a top knot.

“You look wrecked,” Lucy greeted me in front of the sinks, same as last time.

“I feel wrecked,” I told her, handing her her shower caddie. “Do I want to know how you’ve been brushing your teeth?”

She waved me off. “I have an extra. Besides, we’re focusing on you. Does the feeling wrecked have anything to do with Mr. Hottie who left your room the other morning? I saw what happened in the cafeteria the other day. That was brutal.” She shuddered in commiseration.

“It was. Are you trying to rub it in my face?” I didn’t have the time or energy for coy pleasantries today.

She put her hands up. “Hey, hey, I’m on your side. I want to be your friend. I was observing that things looked bad between the two of you. I’m sorry.”

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