Page 34 of Mastered By Bliss

I turn around and glare.I don’t want to think about what I just heard, but I don’t like it.

Danica looks guilty, Layton looks smug, and I have to get out of here.

I make my excuses to Granddad.“Sorry, I have some work I need to get done at home.Thanks for lunch.”

Danica sends medon’t you dare leavelasers with her eyes.

I’m not worried about her—she can take care of herself.

Layton is the one I should be worried about.My sister will wreck him.But oh, look at that, all my fucks ran out.I have zero left to give.

* * *

Leah

Gage didn’t come home last night.Or if he did, it was after I fell asleep.

Something’s wrong.He wouldn’t leave in the morning without a note, or without waking me up.

Over the course of the afternoon, I text back and forth with Dmitri.He’s done with his family lunch and now doing some work at home—errands and odd jobs he’s been putting off, from the sound of it.He works at Low Vice later.

He also sounds incredibly grumpy, so I’m steering clear.

Danica and I exchange a few texts also—and she’s in a similar mood to Dmitri, sprinkling F-bombs like confetti through the conversation, ranting about asshole boys who think they own the fucking world, fuckers who stick their nose in everyone’s business, on and on.

I gently tell her I have to get to work, and leave her last rant on read.

I have a couple of students today.We move one to a video call because the kid has a cold and doesn’t feel like going out.

Overall, it’s a pretty chill afternoon.

It leaves me way too much time to think.And I’ve been thinking a lot about forever.With the right person, or people, maybe it’s possible.

No, I’m not going to run out and marry Gage and Dmitri tomorrow.But I’ve been rushing to turn down the idea because of the house I grew up in, the example I internalized and kept repeating.

Gage’s penthouse—ourpenthouse, I remind myself—feels very empty when I say goodnight to today’s bodyguard and close the door.

Part of the problem is, I haven’t even spoken to Gage since he asked me to dinner yesterday.Then, he couldn’t make it—and didn’t even tell me himself.

If I did something wrong, I’ll fix it.I just need to know what I did.

I know what I did, though—what I’ve been doing.I haven’t believed in him, or us.

Well, there’s one thing that we’ve always done well, Gage and me—and that’s sex.

I shower in the giant bathroom, taking my time with shaving and shampooing and basically giving my body the princess treatment.

Gage still isn’t home when I get out, even though it’s getting pretty late.I call him, it goes to voicemail.“Gage, it’s me.Um, I hope you’re coming home soon, because I’m waiting up.”

I put on a soft pink nightie that makes my boobs look amazing.I find silk scarves in the “toy drawer” in his room, so I get them out.He hasn’t tied me up yet, and I think I’d like it.

An hour passes.Another.It’s getting cold in this nightie, but if I get under the covers, I’ll fall asleep.

Midnight comes and goes.I call Gage again.I go to voicemail, again.Why isn’t he answering?

“Gage.”I grasp the phone tight, hoping it will ground me.“I’m sorry for not believing in us.The thing is, I just figured a few things out.I grew up looking at my mother’s version offorever, and it was pretty fucking bleak.I drew some conclusions about how it would be for me, and, well.I was wrong.That’s all.I’m sorry.”

My heart hammers in my ears by the time I finish speaking.I pause, wondering if Gage will miraculously start talking back to me, telling me that he understands, and I’m doing the right thing.But of course, he isn’t there.

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