Page 26 of Cross My Heart

I look over at her hands. It’s a fine china set that belonged to her mother. “Mae—” I shake my head. “You can’t.”

“I always thought it would be you two, you know.” She smiles sadly, setting the fine china on the dining table.

My brows furrow. “W-w-what?”

“Noah and you.” Mae shrugs. I look around at everyone else. Scarlett is busy with our parents as she organizes the kitchen cabinets, completely oblivious to what Noah’s mom is saying to me. Then there’s John, nowhere to be found. “I thought you would be together. Like a couple.”

I swallow hard and avert my eyes. “Oh.”

Mae chuckles, but her eyes are burning my face. She hasn’t looked away from me, but like the coward I am, I haven’t had the guts to face her. “It’s okay to love them both.”

My eyes widen, and they finally connect with hers.

“I don’t—” I shake my head quickly, trying to deny it.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Ty.” Mae smiles kindly. “I’m practically your mama, too.”

My mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, and she places a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“You do need to pick between them though,” she whispers. “Before someone gets hurt.”

I nod. “I know.”

“So, pick.” Her smile widens. “You need to pick.”

“One could argue that I already have,” I whisper back.

“But does he know that?” Her eyes are sad, but it’s not pity I see. It’s understanding. “Do you know who you want to spend the rest of your life with?”

“That’s a very long time, Mae.”

“That’s the kind of choice you need to make—and quickly.”

I nod.

I wish I had the answer to it because the truth is that a life without Noah Milner by my side would be excruciating. It already is. I live it every day, and the longing I feel to have him by my side is debilitating. But I know a life without Scarlett would feel the same. It would be excruciating to lose my other best friend. So, really, how can I win this?

Mae gives me a kind smile and kisses my cheek, then begins to say her goodbyes. Everyone is sad to see them go, but I know better now. She’s sad to see me with Scarlett instead of her son. It hurts her, the same way it hurts me to be this far from him.

The truth is, I think about Noah Milner every day.

“Alright, everyone.” My mom sighs, looking right at me. She raises an eyebrow, and I feel naked. Like she can tell exactly what I’m thinking and feeling right now. “I think it’s time for these lovebirds to celebrate alone.”

I flinch.

I can’t help it.

And my mom’s eyes narrow on my face.

“That’s a great idea!” Amy—Scarlett’s mom—says.

My eyes slide over to Scarlett’s, and she smirks. I know I’m not getting out of this one tonight, and the worst part is that I know Ishouldn’twant to get out of it. I should want to have sex with my girlfriend. The same girlfriend who I just moved in with.

It’s a huge step.

And I’m already questioning it.

Pathetic.

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