Page 75 of Cross My Heart

Scarlett lets go of my arm, but then she looks at me and frowns. “What’s on your chest?” I look down, then remember last night and can feel my face heating. “Is that cum?”

I shrug. “I jacked off. Is that a problem?”

“Yes,” Scarlett yells out. “It is a fucking problem. We haven’t had sex in six months, Tyler.Six!I get it, you don’t want to get me pregnant. You don’t want to?—”

“You don’t know what I want,” I snap.I want Noah. I want to scream it at the top of my lungs, but instead I say, “You haven’t known for a really long time.”

“That’s what you think.” She chuckles, and she sounds unhinged. “I know exactly what you’re doing. Listen, if you’re so affected by Noah, he needs to leave.”

I bristle. “He’s not going anywhere.”

“This is my house too.”

Not for long.“And mine as well. So he’s staying and it’s final.”

“Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on here because I do.”

“And what’s going on?”

“You feel bad for him, you pity him for having feelings for you, so you won’t fuck me while he’s in this house.”

“I don’t pity him.” I laugh. She’s so far from the damn truth. “And I haven’t fucked you since before he showed up, so clearly he’s not the problem. I just don’t want to have sex with you.”

There’s a moment of silence between us, and then her bottom lip begins to tremble, and I sigh. “You’re a fucking asshole.”

“I’m sorry, Scar.” I run a hand down my face. The last thing I want to do is hurt her. “You know I don’t want this to hurt you.”

“Are you going to leave me?”

I don’t say anything. I just hold my breath.

“So that’s it?” Tears run down her face. “A decade, and for what? We have nothing to show for it, Ty!”

“We have a home?—”

“In your arms, I’m a stand-in for someone else,” she blurts out. “Always have been, huh?”

I want to say no. I want to reassure her that she’s wrong. But the truth is, I know I’ve had feelings for Noah since before he kissed me for the first time. It was a long time coming.

“Scarlett.” I tell her softly, “I have loved you.” And Ihave. It’s not a lie. I loved her deeply, with everything in me. I just loved him too. Still do. Always will. That’s the biggest difference between them, that if it comes down to it, it will always be Noah for me. “You have to know that.”

“I need to leave.” She sighs. “I gotta get out of here.”

I frown. “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Where, Scar?” I question, suddenly worried. “You work tonight. You should be resting.”

“How can I rest like this?” The tears just keep trailing down her face, and I brush them away with my thumbs. “Don’t touch me, Tyler.” I let my hands drop from her face.

My stomach drops at the implication, and I wonder if she knows about what happened last night, or what she’s trying to tell me. But I don’t question her, instead, I fall back against my pillow and close my eyes.

Scarlett gets out of bed and gets dressed, going into the bathroom to take care of business. She comes out rather quickly, seemingly in a hurry. Not one more word is exchanged between us, and when she leaves, she slams the front door. I blow out a deep breath and sit up, running a hand down my face all over again in frustration.

I need to decompress. I need to relax and forget about this conversation. Maybe Ishouldbe going after her, but I just…can’t. I can’t bring myself to do it, not when I know how hypocritical it would be. She needs to learn how to be alone, and how to heal on her own. Because soon, I won’t be there to wipe her tears. That guts me too, knowing how hurt she’ll be. Especially when she sees me with Noah. But Noah and I are inevitable.

Noah is the heart, and I’m the blood in his veins.

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