Page 36 of Cross My Heart

We make our way out of the water and further up so we can sit on the dry sand, then plop down and get comfortable. Well, as comfortable as one can get with cold, wet clothes. Maybe this was a horrible idea. But as I remember the kiss we just shared, I realize, I don’t want to be done. I want to talk about this.

“Noah,” I whisper, suddenly feeling vulnerable. “I think?—”

“Less talking, love,” Noah whispers back, gripping my chin between his thumb and forefinger and bringing my face back to his. He presses his lips to mine chastely, and when I open my eyes, he’s grinning. “You’re so beautiful, Ty.”

My stomach flutters. “Noah—” I swallow hard. “I want to—” My eyes dip to the bulge in his pants, and his eyes widen. He knows what I’m saying, but I also don’t want to say it out loud. “Please.”

Noah nods, unbuttoning his jeans, and shoving them and his underwear down his thighs. His long, thick cock springs free, slapping him on the abs, and this time it’s my eyes that widen. His dick is fucking gorgeous, with a wide blue vein running along the top side of his shaft. He wraps a hand around himself and starts jerking it leisurely as if we have all the time in the world and we’re not in a public place. But the possibility of getting caught makes it hotter.

“Come on, Ty,” Noah whispers, eyes gleaming. “It’s not gonna suck itself.”

At those words, I jump into action, pushing him onto his back and getting between his legs. My hand takes hold of his cock, and I bring it to my lips, the sticky pre-cum getting on them. I lick it off, savoring his salty taste, and moan. He twitches in my hand, and when I lick his slit, he groans long and loud.

I wrap my lips around him, swirling my tongue around the head, then relax my jaw and take him in deeper. I immediately gag, and Noah’s hands come to tangle in my hair as he holds me in place. I breathe in deeply through my nose, just to gag again, but push through.

“That’s it, love,” Noah praises. “It’s yours, so you have to take it all.”

I moan, hollowing my cheeks on the way up.

Bobbing my head up and down, I speed up. That seems to do the trick, and when I go down next, I relax my throat once more and take him deeper. His fingers tighten in my hair when I gag, and his loud moan makes my toes curl in the sand. Noah begins to fuck my face from the bottom, thrusting his hips, and I hold onto his hips for dear life. Before I know it, his cock twitches in my mouth.

“Yes, Tyler,” he groans, and my stomach flutters. Him moaning my name has to be the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced. “I’m gonna…” He moans. “Oh, fuck. I’m gonna c-come.”

This time I bob my head up and down as he thrusts up into my mouth, and suddenly he’s coming down my throat. I open my eyes to see him staring right at me, his lips parted, breathy groans coming from him. His blue eyes are dilated, his cheeks red, his jaw slack. And I realize in this moment that I’m fucked. Because there’s no way that these feelings I have for Noah Milner are temporary. What I feel is beyond my comprehension—beyond what I even feel for Scarlett. And that scares the living shit out of me.

I swallow his cum, loving the taste of it, and he drops his head to the sand, staring up at the sky. I pull away from him and pull his jeans and underwear up, and he lifts his body to help me out. After I tuck him in and zip him up, I lie down next to him on the sand. I reach for his hand, loving the way his callouses rub against my skin. He’s all man, and I’m all for it.

But the guilt trickles in quickly. Guilt about what I just did with him. For being so fucking weak. And I hate myself for what I’m doing to her. She’s my best friend. But I also can’t deny that what I feel for him is stronger.

“Noah,” I whisper, and his head turns toward me. I make eye contact with him, and he frowns. “I have—” I take a deep breath. “I want to leave Scarlett.”

“What?” he gasps. “Ty, you can’t be serious.”

This time I frown. “I’m serious, Noah.”

“But what if…” He trails off. “What if you’re confused? What if you don’t really know what you want?”

“Excuse me?” I sputter. “I just said I know what I want.” And Ido. “Shouldn’t that be my choice?”

“What if you change your mind and go back to her?” Noah shakes his head. “No, I wouldn’t be able to take that.”

“I won’t.”

“You don’t know that,” Noah snaps. “What if you decide dick isn’t for you?”

“I just had your dick down my throat,” I growl, getting pissed off now. “I think I already decided I do like it.”

But Noah just shakes his head again. “I can’t let you break my heart like that.” My bottom lip trembles at his rejection, and I look away.

“So, what?” I huff. “You just wanted me to be your dirty little secret? You’re fine with me cheating on Scarlett, but as soon as I try to make this real you just back off?”

“No, Ty—” Noah’s eyes water, and I suck in a sharp breath. “I’ve been in love with you for over a decade. I wouldn’t survive you changing your mind.”

“So that’s it?” I laugh, but it holds no humor. “Is this it then? The end of us?”

“It has to be,” he replies slowly, a sad look on his face. “You still don’t even know if you’ll ever want to have a family. You don’t know what it feels like to have your own children.” My stomach drops at that. The thing is I do want a family. But I want it withhim. “You don’t know the life you’re giving up, and I don’t want to be the one to hold your regrets.”

“I do want those things, Noah,” I tell him softly. “I want them withyou.”

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