Page 30 of Cross My Heart

Chapter 16

NOAH

22 YEARS OLD

I’m not sure how long I’ve been laying here before the knob turns and the door opens. My eyes hurt from all the tears I’ve shed, and even though I’m exhausted, I can’t seem to fall asleep. At the same time, it feels like I could sleep for a hundred days.

My back is to the door, and I can hear Tyler and Scarlett whispering from behind me. I squeeze my eyes tighter as if pretending to be asleep will keep them out of the room when I know it won’t. But it’s only been a few hours since my parents died, and the last thing I want is to pretend everything is okay. They clearly don’t get the memo as they slip into bed with me.

Scarlett to my front, and Tyler to my back.

I’m suddenly the little spoon, and Ty wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me in closer, burying his face in my neck and kissing me there discreetly. Scarlett’s eyes are on my face, and suddenly her bottom lip trembles. I have to close my own eyes because if I see them cry over my family I’m going to break the fuck down.

“I’m sorry, Noah,” Scarlett whispers, sniffling. I open my eyes to see her whole body shaking, and I reach out and squeeze her hand. The light spilling in from the hallway shines on her tear-streaked face, and she focuses on where Tyler’s arm is wrapped around me. But either she doesn’t care right now about what happened in the car earlier, or she’s too distraught to think about it. “I loved them so much.”

“I did too,” Tyler whispers from behind me, his lips moving against the back of my neck. He kisses me there again, and I inhale sharply. “We’re going to miss them.”

“My M-mom,” I whisper brokenly. “Fuck, Ty,” I sob. “My parents are dead.”

Scarlett sobs too and squeezes my hand. “We’re still your family, Noah.”

“We’llalwaysbe your family,” Tyler reaffirms.

“No matter what?” I ask Scarlett, afraid that what she saw will change everything between us. Maybe I can convince her it was only a moment of weakness because of my grief, but that wouldn’t be fair to her either. Lying to her face would only make things worse.

“No matter what,” she replies, her nails digging into my skin.

I flinch, and I know she hates me right now, but she’s in pain too. She’s hurting because this is also a loss for her. But she’s also hurting for me, her best friend. Her ride or die. The one who’s been by her side since we were in diapers. And no matter what I’ve done to fuck that up in the last few hours, I know it’s forgivable. It has to be.

Ithasto be.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper to her, and she nods. “It was a moment of?—”

“Shhhhh,” she soothes, and Tyler’s arm tightens around me. “Forget about it.”

“I can’t—” I sob.

“Wecan.”

I nod, because right now I could. Right now, I could focus on the comfort they’re offering and set my feelings for Tyler aside. “I’m all alone now, Scar. I’m all alone in the world. I have—n-no one. I need someone. I need—I n-n-n-need?—”

“Breathe, Noah,” Tyler whispers against my neck, his lips soothing a stupid part of me that I can’t turn off. “Don’t let this break you.”

“Iamthough.” The tears won’t stop coming, and my eyes suddenly feel so, so heavy. “I’m broken.”

“I’ll fix you,” Ty replies softly, “We will.”

Scarlett gets impossibly closer, until her head is buried in the crook of my neck, and her body is plastered to my front. Her arm goes over Tyler’s, and we embrace for what feels like forever.

And then we sob.

Together.

All of us.

The next time I open my eyes, Scarlett is gone. It’s just Tyler and I all alone in the bed, and the door is closed. I don’t know if she did it to give us privacy or not, but I curse her. Because I shouldn’t be trusted behind a closed door with Tyler Hayes.

My best friend.

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