Page 100 of Imperfect Desires

I sit back, tea forgotten, my hand resting on the curve of my abdomen.

It’s peaceful.

But I can still feel the echo of steel walls. The memory of cold tile against my back. The sound of Mendes’s voice slithering into my ears like poison.

Yelena’s gaze sharpens. She knows me too well.

“Are you okay?” she asks, voice soft.

I don’t answer right away.

Because the truth is… I’m not sure.

“I think I’m still in pieces,” I say at last. “But I know now that I’m the kind of woman who can put herself back together.”

Scarlett looks up from her half-asleep toddler and smiles. “That’s strength.”

Yelena leans forward, elbows on her knees, belly between us like a living promise. “No, Alina. That’s power. You didn’t just survive. You endured. You fought. And you still have room left for love.”

My throat tightens.

“I was so scared,” I whisper. “I didn’t know if anyone would find me. I didn’t know if he’d kill me before they could.”

“But Lev did find you,” Scarlett says gently. “And now you’re here. With a baby. And a man who would crawl through hell for you.”

I blink away tears. “He hasn’t even said he wants me in his life.”

“He doesn’t have to,” Scarlett murmurs. “I’ve seen it in the way he looks at you and cares for you. Ever since the rescue, he acts as if you are the first thing he’s ever wanted and that he is terrified to lose.”

“And you won’t lose him,” Yelena adds. But if you need to hear those words to be reassured, then we will have to make him spill them.”

That makes the tears spill, but this time, not from pain. Instead, they fall from the overwhelming, terrifying beauty of being loved in this way: by blood, by choice, by fate.

“I don’t know what comes next,” I admit. “But I know I’m not broken anymore- not the way I thought I was.”

Yelena smiles through her own glassy eyes. “Good. Because this baby deserves to meet the real you. The strong, stubborn, incredible woman we all know.”

I exhale a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. Then, I reach across to pull Yelena into a warm embrace, and Scarlett joins us. The three of us have indeed fought for the love we now share and are lucky to be alive to watch our children grow up together.

34

Lev

I look up at the clock and see it is past midnight. I’ve been sitting here for hours, my hand moving slowly over Alina’s back as I trace circles into the soft cotton of her sleep shirt. Her skin feels clammy beneath it. She shifts occasionally in her sleep, breathing unevenly, her brow furrowed even in rest.

She’d gotten sick again after dinner—sweating, pale, retching up everything she tried to keep down. Her body’s still fighting, and she’s only a few months in. I sit here battling with the urge to punch a hole through every wall in this goddamn house.

If I could take it all—the nausea, the weakness, the dizzy spells—I would. Without hesitation. Without complaint. I’d bleed forher, break for her, burn the whole world down if it meant she didn’t have to feel like this.

But I fucking can’t.

All I can do is sit here and rub slow circles across her back, whispering things I’ve never said out loud, hoping that somehow she hears them.

That she knows.

Earlier, Viktor had cornered me in the hallway, jaw set like stone. “You should rest. I’ll have someone sit with her.”

I hadn’t backed down. I never intend to. “No,” I said. “She’s mine to take care of.”

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