Page 34 of Protect

He just looks at me but doesn’t answer.

Anger rushes to my center and I feel my cheeks heat but all I manage to eke out is

“I see,”

“Violette…I’m gonna need to cool things with us for a little while. It’s not—” he whispers, low enough that no one else can hear.

“It’s not you, it’s me? Is that what’s coming my way?” I interrupt him.

He says nothing, he just runs a hand through his hair nervously. “I’m sorry.”

I knew it. I thought something special was happening between us…I thought he felt the same, and now what? He realizes I’m not the kind of girl he usually dates? He doesn’t want to go to the prom with me because of how it will look? I can’t figure out why he would change his mind now. Has he just been trying to figure out how to break this news to me for three days? I swallow down the raging emotion. No matter how hard I try, the words “you just aren’t good enough”run through my head.

“Also, there’s something else,” he says, his tone defeated. “You’re maybe gonna hear some things about me and Kyleigh Miller.”Kyleigh Miller? The girl who looks at me like I’m a joke every time she sees me?

Rowan’s eyes meet mine and I can’t place the look he’s wearing, but he’s definitely serious as he reaches out and takes my hand into his. “I didn’t fake this with you, Vi…” He gestures to the bio door, and suddenly it’s all very clear. That look he’s wearing? As soon as the words leave his mouth, I know what it is. Guilt.Holy shit.

Heusedme. He was the first guy I let touch me, the first guy I was ever remotely intimate with. I trusted him and heusedme. I pull my hand away from him.

“How convenient this all came up right after we handed in our project. A project I worked on so hard just to make sure you would get a good grade,” I spit out.

“It’s not like that, Vi—fuck, I?—"

“Alright, people, back up so I can hang this,” our white haired, bushy-bearded science teacher says as he makes his way through the bio door with a single piece of paper in his hand, the pin already stuck through the top to be pressed into the corkboard. He walks right between Rowan and me. We back up to let him through, but we never take our eyes off of each other. Mr. Shoebottom pins the document up on the board and students clamour around it.

I force myself to pull my eyes from Rowan’s and will myself not to cry. I move like a robot toward the board, not knowing if he follows me. I find our names immediately. 94 percent. How nice for him. I turn, numb to everything around me. I’m surprised when I see Rowan standing in the exact same spot that he was, looking down at the floor.

I don’t stop walking. I just breeze by him desperate for the bathroom.

“Vi,” he calls after me.

“Vi!” he says, a little louder this time.

I stop and spin around, anger and nausea washing over me. I fold my arms across my chest, waiting for him to speak. He runs a hand through his hair and takes a second, like he can’t find the words he’s looking for. He takes a deep breath and looks up from the floor into my eyes. Even from twenty feet away, they pierce right through me.

“I didn’t want to hurt you, that’s not what this was.”

I scoff feeling the tears that are imminent.

“94 percent, Rowan. Seems it was exactly what it was supposed to be,” I deadpan before turning on my heel and beelining for the bathroom without stopping. Even as I hear him call after me, I don’t stop. I can’t.

The only thing I have left is the shred of dignity I’m holding onto and I won’t let Rowan fucking Kingsley take that from me.

PRESENT

My living room looks like a tornado went through it, but the sounds coming from out there are of three happy, laughing kids who are five episodes deep intoSuperPets.

“How long do you think we can successfully hide in here?” Teddy asks as she sips the mocktail I made. She shifts in the chair at my kitchen table, looking about ready to burst.

“Until they all realize we’re gone or one of them needs food.” I grin.

As if on cue, Penny comes running into the room, crying something about Dalton taking away her Barbie.

Her brown eyes are brimming with tears as Dalton comes running in behind her.

“She was throwing it, I told her she can’t do that here because she might break something,” he defends himself like the little caregiver he is. Teddy has told me since her husband died, Dalton has turned into the man of the house of sorts, and Penny has an adventurous side.

I take the opportunity to check on Hollie in the living room while Teddy settles the commotion. She’s quietly sitting on the floor coloring and watchingSuperPets,singing along with the music. I smile as I watch her, she is a naturally easy going child, always finding something to keep her busy.

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