Page 35 of Protect

The quiet moment of watching her ends as Dalton and Penny come back into the living room with Teddy. “Crisis averted.” Teddy grins, tucking a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. “I told Dalton we’d sit out here, so I guess our alone time is over.”

I laugh, taking a seat on my comfortable sofa as Dalton gets a game of Candyland out for them.

“He’s like having a built-in little babysitter.” I nod toward him.

He explains the easy rules to the girls and Teddy smiles.

“He’s changed a lot since Logan passed. He had to grow up so much faster than I would ever want.” I see the pain in Teddy’s eyes as she talks. It’s only been six months, and I imagine being pregnant during this loss would be the most bittersweet thing imaginable.

“Will you have any more?” she asks, putting her swollen feet up on my ottoman.

I shrug. “I’d like to, I just… Who has time for that? Plus, I’d need a man I actually like and I’m not sure that exists.”

“Well, technically, you just need one part of a man.” Teddy blushes as she says it, the way she does anytime she says something even remotely naughty. I laugh in return as she adds, “Well, actually, you don’t even need that if you?—”

“I get it,” I say, tipping my head back to laugh.

“Well, that's it, I’m bringing it up. Are we gonna get to the point of why you brought my ready-to-combust self over here?” she asks. I feel the blush creeping up my neck. “Seriously, Vi, it took me ten minutes to do my sandals up. Out with it.”

I laugh and groan at the same time.

“All right, well…Rowan Kingsley.”

Teddy nods. “Hotshot extraordinaire, very handsome, currently residing in your burn unit.”

“Yes,” I say carefully, trying to decide how to word it. “Well, we have a history. He was my brother’s best friend, always, for as long as I could remember.”

“Right, I think I knew that,” she says. Her history was always intermingled with mine but never really a part of it.

“And you hadn’t seen him until you came home?” she asks, turning to watch as Dalton shows Penny how to spin for her next color.

“Drifted apart after your brother…” she trails off, not wanting to say it. Teddy, of all people, knows how hard it is to lose someone. I nod.

“We drifted apart long before that. He was the first guy I…cared about. My first kiss, my first”—I look to the kids to make sure they can’t hear—“you know…”

Teddy’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“Oh, you werewithhim?” she asks, her pretty face is lined in surprise.

I shake my head. “No, not quite that far. If we’re talking baseball, it was a third base type thing. First time to third base, if you know what I mean…”

She nods and sips her drink. “I think I got it.” She giggles.

“But the thing is, I had feelings for him. Whatever it was back then, it was strong,” I tell her, playing with a thread on my shirt. “I thought it was for both of us and I know I had those feelingsfor him, for years.” I focus on the hem of my oversized T-shirt as I talk, relieving the truth for the first time in a long time.

“I think I looked up to him, even though we were the same age. We got really close when we worked on a school project together. He needed to do well to pass and graduate on time, and I was happy to help him because I was so crazy about him…”

I go through the whole story, half in code so the kids don’t hear anything they shouldn’t. Teddy calls that speaking “Momglish.”

I tell her about our history, the way I wanted him for years, our time together, how effortless it felt and about him asking me to prom.

“I really thought he cared about me. He was the first guy I ever cared about. I was so happy, and then he just dropped me. He showed up to view our final mark a few days later and told me that he needed some space, and that we were done. It was obvious to me then that he had just used me to help him get a better grade. I was falling in love for the first time and he broke my heart, I was devastated.” I swallow the rest of my mocktail. “I left right after and haven’t really been back much since. It was too complicated, I knew he’d be around the house all the time. I didn’t want to face him…”

“What a…poopyhead,” Teddy says with a giggle. Dalton chuckles when he hears his mom.

“Mommy said poopyhead.” Penny giggles.

“Total poopyhead,” I agree as the kids continue playing.

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