Page 103 of Protect

Violette turns to me and I can tell she’s doing everything she can to make it seem like she’s strong, ready for me to go.

“Don’t forget your pig, I’ll tell Hollie you have it.”

“Give her a hug for me, tell her I’m sorry I’ll miss Wednesday’s new episode,” I say, feeling choked up myself. Just over a month of Violette being back in my life and the whole thing is turned upside down.

Violette nods and then leans over to kiss my cheek. I unbuckle my seatbelt and turn, wrapping my arms around her. I kiss her full on the lips, reminding her what we have and why she shouldn’t be afraid. She kisses me back, but it’s a kiss that feels like forever and goodbye, all at the same time. I can’t help myself.

“I love you, Violette…” I whisper. “I love you so goddamn much it physically hurts me to leave you. But I promise, right this moment, that I will never leave to fight another fire without telling you that before I go, even if you’re not ready to say it back, even if it takes you ten more seasons.”

Violette sucks in a breath and her eyes fill with tears as she backs away. Maybe I’ve pushed her too far, but, fuck, she has to know.

“Just come home, Rowan.” She gulps back more tears with a small smile. “And maybe it will be the first thing I say to you when you do,” she says in a whisper. Squeezing my hand one last time as a tear spills over her cheek, she’s out the door, leaving me feeling like I could put my fist through something with the amount of frustration I have from leaving her and the pull from the need I feel to do my job. I want to run after her and tell her I’ll stay with her, but I can’t.

“Fuck,” I say under my breath as I slam a hand on the steering wheel, giving one last glance to her door before taking a breath and then forcing myself to drive away.

I havenochoice. This fire is in our backyard. Iwillprotect this town, and Iwillprotect my girls.

“You gotta tell her,” Cal says, clapping my shoulder forty-five minutes later when we’re packing up the trucks.

“What?”

“Little T, you gotta tell her you love her. She needs to know, but first you have to fully admit it to yourself.”

My brow furrows as I think. “I have admitted it. I did tell her, and I know she loves me too, but she has years of trauma surrounding Jacob’s death. She’s only been home a couple months, and all her fears came to a head tonight.”

“You’re right though, she definitely does love you too.” Cal looks at me. “Always has.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because the only reason she’d push back like this is if the thought of losing you was too much for her to handle. And youdon’t have those kinds of feelings for someone you don’t love with your whole heart.”

I nod and scrub my jaw with a little chuckle.

“Christ, when the fuck did you get so philosophical?” I ask him with a chuckle.

“Rom-com 101, bro.” Cal smiles wide.

“Now, let’s do this fucking thing right so you can come home and tell the woman you love that you love her over and over until she gets sick of you, yeah?” He turns with another laugh and moves to the next truck to help pack it up. His words register, along with everything I’ve been feeling.

Instead of thinking of all the things that can go wrong, I think of coming home to her and Hollie, and coming home to more babies one day. Lazy Sunday mornings making my girls breakfast, stolen moments tangled up with Violette in our bedsheets, not wanting to come up for air.

This is love, the deepest kind. The kind that’s always been there, just under the surface smoldering for ten years, waiting for the spark to breathe life into it again. A love I never let go of. A love that shaped me.

I fucking love Violette so goddamn much it hurts, and I love Hollie. They’re my future and telling her that tonight was right. This affirmation is the boost I need to finish packing up because the moment I get home, I’m going to tell her that even when she tries to push me away, I’ll be there, waiting for her to come around. Because that’s what I owe her, to always come home and to always be her safe space.

I pull the Power Piggy Hollie gave me for good luck to the top of my pack hoping it offers some.

“See you soon, Hols,” I whisper, patting the top of the pig’s head.

“Y’all packed up here?” Sup asks, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

“Yes, Sup,” I tell him, heading to board the buggie with most of the crew.

I look out the window as the Sky Ridge town limits pass us by and we head for the mountain.

Now, all I gotta do is make it through this beast.

The Knox Mountain fire is the worst fire we’ve seen in ten years. They’ve had to evacuate homes on the west side, a few homes have even burned with the blaze. Thick smoke and ash has the air quality around us thick, and for me, torturous.

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