Page 104 of Riot

“Not tonight,” I say softly, and she instantly withdraws behind her walls.

Her brow furrows. “Right. Of course, you don’t want me to touch you. Why would you?” The loathing in her words gores me. “You say you don’t care about my past, but how could you not?”

She jerks back, but I catch her wrist. “That’s not what?—”

“You don’t want me.” The words crack out like a gunshot.

Her laboured breaths are loud in the silence. Mine too. “I didn’t say that.”

“You don’t have to.” Her words are designed to cut me down before I can hurt her first. “Who would want a dirty, filthy, disgusting whore like me?”

The words pour out in a rush, vicious, desperate, and intending to wound. They hit my chest like a round of bullets, leaving me bleeding just as much as her.

“Don’t ever say that shit.”

She tears at my grip, but I don’t let go. I won’t let her run from this. From me.

“Get off!”

I stand, towering over her, and lift her wrist to my mouth. I press a kiss to her skin, a claim, a reminder that she’s mine.

“I want you more than I want my next fuckin’ breath, Ivy, but not like this.”Not when you’re bleeding.

The fight drains out of her. “Not like what?”

I dip my head, bringing my mouth to her ear so she hears every word. “Like you need to prove something to yourself.”

She laughs, but it’s hollow, bitter even. “You’ve fucked half this city, but you suddenly grow a conscience with me?” Her body presses against mine, rubbing herself against me, testing me. I don’t move a muscle. “If you think I’m not tainted, then fuck me. You’ve never had a problem sleeping around before.”

I flinch. I can see how she thinks that, even if she’s wrong.

“I fucked all those women because they meant nothing to me, Ivy. It was sex. Nothin’ more, nothin’ less. Meaningless fuckin’ sex.” I grip her nape, holding her in place as I press my forehead to hers. “I don’t even see their faces. I don’t remember their names. But you? You’re everything to me.”

She freezes, and I continue to land truth bombs, hoping she’ll understand.

“I know why you want this, and fuck, I’m desperate to move our relationship to the next level, but not like this.”

Confusion ripples across her face. “But it’s just sex.”

“With you, it’ll never bejust sex. When I take you to bed, it’ll be when you’re ready, not because you’re hurting.” I move from her nape to cup her face, my thumb sweeping gently over her cheeks. “I’ve never been with a woman I wanted more from than just a quick fuck, Vee. Not until you. I want to show you how much you mean to me.”

She swallows hard, emotion battling in her eyes. “I need to feel something. Everything is too sharp. Too painful. Everything that’s happened tonight has…”

Left her feeling violated again.

I pull her into my chest, tucking her under my chin. “And that’s why we ain’t doin’ this tonight, baby.”

She exhales, shuddering. “Then what are we doing?”

“We’re gonna sleep.” I kiss her, pouring everything into it. She responds tentatively at first before she gives herself to it, and when we break apart, she’s breathless. I capture her tears, wiping then away. “Come on.”

I pull the duvet back for her, and she climbs in, shifting to the other side of the bed—a clear invitation.

I hesitate just a fraction long enough for her to say, “We’re just sleeping.”

I slide in beside her and pull her against my chest. Her breath is hot on my skin, her body warm against my side.

Perfection.

---