Page 76 of Must Have Been Love

“I don’t want to talk to him,” I say, the tears starting to fall again. “I don’t want to talk to anybody,” I sob, lowering my head into my hands. “How could you all lie to me? I thought he was my friend. God, at one point I worried he was attracted to me? What if I’d kissed him? Jesus…”

A pair of strong arms wrap around me. Hudson kneels in front of me, pulling me against him. I’m too tired to resist, and maybe I need some comfort, from anywhere I can get it right now. My head lowers against his shoulder and I start to sob hard. The kind of messy, dirty sobs that lead to snotty noses and chest convulsions. And all through it, he just holds me, never letting go. Not talking, not moving, just letting me fall apart.

“Why didn’t Dad tell me I had a brother?” I mutter against his shirt, once I’ve finally cry myself out once more. I’ve managed to make his shoulder completely damp with my tears.

“Jesse wants to explain that to you,” Hudson says more gently than I’ve ever heard him talk. “And I think you should hear him out when you’re ready. I can tell you if you want, but really this part is between the two of you. I know if it was something between me and my sisters…”

I sniff loudly. “I don’t know that I want to talk to him.”

“He’s a good kid. He cares about you. Please don’t shut him out.”

“He’s only a couple of years younger than me,” I say. “Hardly a kid.”

“I know.” There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. “But he still seems like a kid to me. I grew up with him.”

I let out a long breath, thinking of Jesse with his golden hair and shy smile. The way he’s been here so much. The way he always looks so happy to see me. Then I remember him on the boat, that first, rainy day when I arrived on Liberty. How he leaned in, looking delighted I was there.

My heart clenches. I have a brother. Somebody of my own. Somebody who knew Dad more than I did, more than Lee or Mom did, maybe.

“I’ll talk to him,” I say. “Tomorrow. I’m just so tired right now.”

Hudson pushes the hair that’s sticking to my wet cheeks behind my ear. “Of course you are,” he says. “Let’s get you to bed.”

Before I can say a word, the man is scooping me into his arms like I’m as light as a feather – something I know for a fact I’m not. And I’m not going to lie, it feels good. Way too good.

Like he cares for me. Like I’m something more than a challenge for him.

He carries me to the bedroom, laying me on top of the covers. Then he gently pulls off my shoes and unbuttons my blouse.

“I should brush my teeth,” I say.

“Tomorrow.” He pulls the blouse from my arms then turns his attention to my skirt. There’s no lust in his eyes. Nothing but care.

“And wash my face.”

“That can wait, too.” He helps me out of my skirt until I’m laying in my underwear on the mattress. “Get under the covers,” he says.

“Okay.”

I do as I’m told, finding comfort in justbeing, not thinking. I curl up under there, and he takes my hand in his, sitting down on the floor next to the mattress.

“What are you doing?” I ask him.

“Holding your hand.”

I almost laugh. “I know that. But what are you doinghere?”

“Making sure you get some rest. And keeping you company while you do.”

“You should go home to Ayda. She’ll be wondering where her daddy is.”

“Autumn has gone to my place to help the babysitter. I don’t have to be anywhere but here.”

I frown. “You’re planning to stay here all night?”

He tips his head, a smile playing on his lips. “I am,” he says solemnly. “I’m staying right here, next to your bed, not on your bed. There will be no funny business, no snuggles. No bed related sex.”

My cheeks pink up. I want to ask him why. Why would he stay here when there’s nothing to offer? But the fatigue is overwhelming. It’s like my body’s had too much and it just wants to shut down. To dream of something other than small towns full of secrets. I let out a yawn and he smiles at me, and it hits me right in the gut.

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