Page 77 of Must Have Been Love

“I’ll be okay on my own,” I say.

“I have no doubt. But you don’t have to be on your own. So you won’t be.”

My eyes close against my will. My breathing evens out. And he’s still holding my hand as I slowly drift into the oblivion my aching heart craves.

But as I teeter on the edge of sleep, all I can think about is the fact that this feels more vulnerable than sex in a bed or anything else I’ve been building walls around. I feel raw and hurt and he’s here holding my hand, keeping me safe.

And I like it way, way too much.

twenty-four

SKYLER

When I wake up in the morning Hudson is still here. He’s looking disheveled from sleeping the night on my floor, and it makes my heart ache to see him.

“You didn’t leave,” I say, sitting up.

“I said I wouldn’t,” he replies simply. And that’s probably all I need to know about this man. He makes a promise and he keeps it.

I let out a breath. “You should go. Ayda will want to see you. And you have to work.”

“There’s no rush. Let me get you a coffee and then we can see how you feel.”

I run my hand through my hair. I can tell that it’s as much of a mess as the rest of me. “I need to talk to Jesse,” I say.

“Yes you do.” He gives me the softest smile. “He’s messaged me about a hundred times.”

“Can you ask him to come over?” I ask. “At eleven.”

“Eleven? It’s going to be a long three hours.”

“I’m going to need that long to make myself look respectable,” I say. Between the tears and the tossing and turning I hate to think how terrible I look. But Hudson’s face is soft as our gazes meet.

“You look perfect.”

“Shut up.”

He leans forward and kisses me softly. It makes my toes curl.

“And now I’m going to get those coffees,” he says, standing up and stretching. He took his shirt off at some point during the night, so he grabs it and slides his arms through it. “You going to be okay?”

“I’m going to be fine.” It’s weird how strongly those words come out. Because I am, I know it. “I’m going to take a shower, drink that coffee, then go for a walk on the beach before…

“Before Jesse comes over,” Hudson says.

I nod. I was going to say before I talk to my brother. What a weird word. All this time I’ve thought I only have one sister. But he was here all along.

So many thoughts are whirling around my mind. But right now I need to get up and face the day.

“Thank you,” I tell this man who is so hard and yet so tender. “Thank you for being here for me.”

His gaze rakes my face, like he’s trying to take everything in. “I wasn’t going to let you deal with this alone.”

* * *

Jesse lets out a long breath, his face full of emotion as he looks at me later that morning.

It’s a beautiful late spring day. The sun is beaming down from a cloudless sky, the ocean is sparkling and we’re sitting out on the bar’s deck, at the far end so we can’t be seen from the road. We’re both drinking coffee because Jesse brought me one – I guess as a peace offering.

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