Page 58 of Isle of Pain

“Fuck, you’re so deep like this, Nico.”

I lift myself off halfway before dropping down again, his piercing gliding inside me deliciously. We both moan as we become nothing but sensations. Clasping his throat, I bring his lips to mine again and he obeys, following my silent orders with a blissful expression on his face. His fingers will leave an indenton the flesh of my ass cheeks with how strongly he’s grasping at the flesh, a sure sign that he’s holding himself back.

I get high on knowing I have that power over him, that I can make him mindless with pleasure and the need to fuck me. I create circles with my hips, taking him deeper and we gasp in harmony. “You’ll take what I give you,” I tell him, then set a harsh pace, bouncing on his cock fast and hard.

My thighs burn with the exertion, but God, I want to see him come. I want to watch as he loses himself inside me and fills me with his cum.

“You’re mine, baby. Mine to own, mine to fuck, mine to edge if I want to.”

“Yes, I’m yours,” he answers on a whimper. “Can I come now?”

“Say please.”

“Please. Please, I beg you, Miss Marie, let me come inside your tight cunt. Let me fill you up.”

My pussy clenches around him as his dirty words register and I nod, incapable of words anymore. I chant a mix ofyes-esandfucks,and cry out for God. Nico’s hands become heavier on me, grinding my clit on his pelvis. Our breaths pick up and we don’t lose eye contact as we come together, whimpering into each other’s mouth and covering the other in our release. Nico’s heart pulses under my fingers where I still hold his throat and I feel mine syncing up to his rhythm.

This beautiful, vulnerable man is all mine. And though the ugly voice in my head rears up to tell me it’s all a lie, I don’t let it this time, basking in the afterglow of our shared orgasm instead.

After we clean up and finally shower, transferring a sleeping Ember into a cosy we can carry with ourselves in the bathroom, we spend the day doing mundane chores, cooking and even taking a walk through the forest in the frigid late autumn air.

Happiness feels good, but I’m scared it won’t last.

33

NICO

WE LOVE A MAN WHO COMES IN HIS PANTS FROM EATING PUSSY

Finding Marie passed out on the floor of our living room at 3 am was not how I thought my compulsive nature would come to be challenged. The part of me that’s obsessed and in love with her needed to care for her, take all her worries away. And the rational part understood it wouldn’t help her.

I ran the rug in the bedroom raw with my pacing. I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes in the span of three hours, helpless and on edge. I counted her breaths until I dozed off myself, waking up with a kink in the neck from how I leaned on the chair I had placed in front of her bed. Giulia handed Ember over and asked too many questions that I refused to answer, after I texted her. I couldn’t leave Marie’s bedside. And I needed my baby girl with me. At least then, I had someone I could tend to.

That was four days ago. Four days staying with Marie and Ember, cooped up in our house. But it’s not good for her. I don’t think I realised it before but it’s claustrophobic.

I come behind her as she prepares a soup for dinner. It’s my favourite way to hold her. When I can nestle against herback and run my hands against ample flesh, feeling quickly how affected she gets by me. But tonight, for the second night in a row, she pulls away, pretending to take more ingredients from the fridge.

“You don’t want me to touch you?” I ask.

“Oh no, of course you can touch me, but I’m almost done, so we can eat soon. Can you set the table?”

The levity of her voice and the bad, fake excuse have my hackles rising and my heart plummeting at my feet. But I let her. She’s going through her own process and so far, she’s kept her promise, telling me when she feels like drinking. It’s usually right before we go to bed, so we’ve taken to watching movies together on the couch until she passes out from exhaustion around 1 or 2 am. It’s not healthy but I’m out of my depth. I read about coping mechanisms and the healing process all night on my phone but I can’t help her if she doesn’t want to get better. And I know she does. Just at her own pace.

She loves Ember but I think she needs a social life, to understand what she loves and hates, to find herself and who she is when she doesn’t take care of others like she doesn’t matter.

Two days later, I drive her and Ember to meet with Giulia and my mother at her favourite cafe in the centre of West Hill.

“Oh, no I don’t have battery anymore,” Marie complains with an edge of anxiety. When we stay connected through text, she’s more settled and I also don’t want her to run into the possibility of not being able to stay in touch.

“I have one extra in the glove box. Take it.”

After she exits the car with Ember, I track the little yellow dot on my phone that indicates her location. Next to it are a green one and a blue one, each belonging to the other two women in my family. The three of them spend the afternoon together while Andrea and I take Ember for a stroll through the forest. For some reason, he wanted to carry her. The sling wrapped aroundhis massive torso looks comical, but his bear paw of a hand is carefully holding Ember’s head, giving him the perfect uncle aura.

“You’re good with her,” I tell him and he grunts his agreement.

“There’s not much to do, honestly. She looks at me with those big Moretti-green eyes and I’m a goner.”

“It’s good you enjoy her company so much because she’s gonna become mine officially soon.”

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