Page 59 of Isle of Pain

His head wipes up so fast I’d almost think he’s gonna throw his neck. It’s funny how his eyes widen. It betrays his surprise though it should be a given since I’ve been taking care of Ember and Marie non-stop since they moved in with me.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“She might not be my blood but she’s mine. Marie and I will make it official soon.” I shrug, then brace for another onslaught of questions when he opens his goddamned mouth. I don’t understand what’s so difficult to understand. My mum got it the first time I told her last night.

“So, I take it that things have escalated between Marie and you?”

“If by escalated, you mean ‘sex’, then yes.”

He coughs, afucking hellmuttered low. “I don’t need to know you bang my wife’s little cousin,fratellino. Though, now I owe my wife twenty thousand pounds, thank you very much. I was talking about whatever you two are. Like, are you even a couple?”

“We’re together. We’ve always been together,” I tell him. That’s always been crystal clear in my mind. We were meant to be from the first moment I laid eyes on her. The fact that I didn’t share that with my brother doesn’t change that my intentions with Marie have remained steady for a year now. I rememberhow skittish she had been at Christmas last year and how she now seeks my touch.

“You’ve always been together,” he parrots, then scoffs. “Does she know that? Does she even know your intention regarding Ember?”

“She will.”

“Don’t be fucking cryptic.”

I stop walking and turn to face him fully, sighing with annoyance. “Listen Andrea, I love her and she loves me. I’m making her and my baby mine soon, but we have shit to work through, first.” He doesn’t need to know about her struggles. That’s for her to share, if she ever wants to.

Andrea raises his hands in surrender. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

We remain planted in our position for what feels like hours, standing off like in a movie. Until a cheeky grin spreads over his bearded cheeks. “I’m an uncle.” Then his head drops down to look at Ember. “Did you hear that, Bibi? I’m yourzioAndrea. You’ll say‘zio’before ‘papa’, won’t you,principessa?”

“You’re ridiculous.”

My brother smirks, then his face turns grave. “I haven’t seen you so happy since Dad died.”

I shrug. “Maybe I’ve atoned enough and Marie and Ember are my reward, you know. And even if I’m undeserving, I’ll never let them go.”

Andrea stops abruptly, a hand on my chest that he carefully removes once I’ve stopped next to him. His frown is so deep, it changes the grooves of his face. “What do you mean ‘atone’?” He sounds angry and I don’t get it.

“It was my fault that Dad died that night, and?—”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,fratellino. If someone’s responsible, it’s me for not protecting you, and the man whoplanned it all. Not you. You were sixteen, for Christ’s sake. Have you been feeling guilty for a fucking decade?”

I stay silent because he already knows the answer and no matter how many times he tells me it’s not my fault, that’s not gonna change how I view the event that changed our lives forever.

Andrea slides a hand over his face and sighs. “Fucking hell, maybe Giulia’s right.”

“About?”

“We need therapy.”

I scoff but he doesn’t. “I’m serious, Nico. It wasn’t your fault and Mama never thought so either.”

“Then, it wasn’t your fault either,” I declare. It won’t erase the grief or a decade of habits to tone down the guilt, but it’s a start.

Andrea’snew found love of his niece gets me funny in my stomach, but in a good way. He told Giulia of our conversation, of course. They have no secrets for each other. In return, she gave me the‘hurt my cousins and I’ll kill you’talk. I pretended to be very scared, refusing to reveal that if there’s one of us who has the potential to hurt the other, it’s all Marie. She could wreck me with one word, one decision, one move. She’d destroy me if she’d walk away. Not that I’d allow that to ever happen.

With Ember tucked in at Andrea and Giulia’s for the evening, I’m left with my resilient, beautiful girl. The package I ordered arrived this afternoon and I’m bouncing on my feet with excitement. That’s a new feeling, one I’m enjoying immensely.When she’ll see what I have in store for her, I doubt she’ll avoid me like she has done for the past few days. She won’t be able to resist.

As always, it’s all about control.

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